The Gardener

EXT. LONDON UNDERGROUND STATION. A WELL DRESSED YOUNG COUPLE ARE SAT WAITING FOR THE TUBE. THE YOUNG MANS DESIGNER T-SHIRT BEARS THE LEGEND: ‘PENSION SORTED!'

‘ARDON:
Our gardener's a Venezuelan. His family live near a live volcano, and he needs money desperately to help them move away. He works for next to nothing here even though he's got a degree in Business Studies!

LARA: (KISSES ‘ARDON)
Oh ‘Ardon, it's so good of your family to help. You're SO (PAUSE) Middle Class!

THEY KISS PASSIONATELY MAKING GENTLE SLOBBERING NOISES.

LARA:
Oh 'Ardon, you're so nice.. and different.. the guys at work just treat me like a sex object!

'ARDON:
Lara.. have you ever thought of giving up Escorting?

LARA:
Mmm.. I might.. do you know, for £100 you could have.. oh, sorry..

Love the Tshirt, love the dialogue, but do you think it needs a punchline?

I have updated it now.

I try not to put any gags in. People might laugh!

Seriously though...

It's just a bit of work in progress. It's a real conversation I actually heard on a tube station yesterday embellished slightly. These people really exist, drawn from life as t'were! But the T shirt slogan is mine.

Aaron just saw this. RUN!

Nice with the punch, simple, quick and funny.

But I'd lose the anal.

I have removed the offending horrifice!

Now that's nice and compact, I could picture it on a post watershed sketch show.

Which means it'll never go anywhere.

Be dead easy to do on a stage show.

Thanks, mate! I enjoyed writing it.

The JunkMales are threatening to do a stage show. But it's a lot of work to do it well.

As for post watershed sketch shows. TV's changed out of all recognition since I started viewing in the 1960's. I don't know what to think..

The main thing I've liked on telly in recent times is the Boosh. Not much else has interested me really.

Did you try Snuff Box?

....you're here!!! *covers stuff up*

No, I never saw Snuff Box, I only found the Boosh because they were on the Amnesty International Albert Hall concert.

I see almost no TV, just snippets. I shall at some point invest in a telly and investigate whatever comedy is on. But I am a way off that at the mo.

Aw, you changed 'Lara' from a £50 hooker to a £100 one.

Awesome!

Yes, she's working her way up.

She'll do an all-nighter for £500!

'Ardon get's it free, although he falls asleep quite quickly.