Live from Crufts

Here's a bit of silliness.

LIVE COVERAGE ON BBC2 OF CRUFTS AT THE NEC

INT. THE NEC ARENA

TV COMMENTATOR
And the next round is ‘Dog impersonation'. Here we have Albert Johnson, and his friend Tom Nuttley, who will be impersonating Riley Devere Devereaux III.

Albert stands, watching his friend Tom, dressed up in a dog costume, standing on all fours.

ALBERT: Riley - sit!

Tom, dressed as a dog, goes over to a chair and sits on it. The crowd claps.

ALBERT: Stand!

Tom gets off the chair and goes down on all fours. Crowd claps.

ALBERT: Stay!

Albert walks away from Tom. Tom remains in one place.

ALBERT: Riley, lay down!

Tom, goes over to a bed, and jumps onto it. Crowd claps.

ALBERT: Good boy. Riley - come!

Tom gets up, goes on all fours over to Albert. Crowd claps.

ALBERT: Riley - die!

Tom does nothing

ALBERT: Riley die!

Tom does nothing

ALBERT: Die Riley! Die!

Tom does nothing

ALBERT: YOU BASTARD!

He gets a gun out and shoots Tom, who drops dead.

TV COMMENTATOR
Oh… he'll lose points for that.

It's an old joke, but the final line is ace.

If you contracted it right down and emphasised that line, it could be ace.

OK, I will do that. The bit that made me laugh was the idea of him dressed as a dog being shot by a frustrated trainer.

I really wanted to see him take a shit before Albert came over with his pooper scooper and bag

Now that's a good idea.