Don't read this it's revolting.

2 MEN (JIM AND TIM IN A MEETING)

JIM

What made you think it was acceptable to look at pornography on your computer and mastrubate?

TIM

Thats my personal business.

JIM

Not when your doing it in a busy office.

TIM

I've got a medical condition that makes me masturbate at work.

JIM

Your testicles explode if you don't?

TIM

No the cancerous cells build up in my testicles and I die, horribly, messily.= if I can't manually remove them by stimualting my glans.

JIM

Couldn't you goto the toilet?

TIM

That's 10 minutes away. Over an 8 hour day I'd lose one and a quarter hours of work, that's a whole day I'd lose a week I'd never catch up. You're forcing me out of my job.

JIM

Well what if some one saw you?

TIM

Are you saying my colleagues right to spy on me, is greater than my right to privacy or life?

JIM

Yes I mean no, I mean why was it devils having sex with each other you were masturbating over? Male demons I might add.

TIM

Don't judge me it's the only thing that turns me on, I don't know why.

JIM

Fine get a Drs note, and you can masturbate at your desk. Just be discreet.

SCENE2

JIM AND TIM ARE IN ANOTHER MEETING, WE CAN'T SEE THE PERSON THEY ARE TALKING TO.

JIM

Boss I caught Tim looking up perosnal sites in work time.

TIM

They were gardening sites.

JIM

Exactly you were supposed to be masturbating over gay demons f**king, not looking at aspidistras..

PULL BACK TO REVEAL THE 3RD PERSON IS THE POPE.

JIM

Oh shit what did I just say..

I confess I am a little puzzled.

Puzzled? Could it be more blunt?

You gooing to have to be even blunter I'm afraid, I've read this three times now

I don't get the last line. In fact I think the last line is superflous. Other than that, I like it.

It's another Sooty gemerooni!

I'll edit it.

Thanks all

Maybe as Jim says, "Damn, what did I just say.." Tim and the Pope could wink at each other and start rubbing themselves..

Sorry, I'm lost.

Forgive the expression, but come again?

And surely the whole 'wanking in the office' thing is owned by Big Train now?

Did they do a similar skit.

Another edit, I'll nail this one damn it!

I'll come back again when you've finished the edit!

Quote: sootyj @ August 8 2008, 5:46 PM BST

Another edit, I'll nail this one damn it!

View original

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn6Z9djh8eA

Interesting similar aunject matter but a different approach.

I mean there's the famous Norman Wisdom film

Norman pulls it off.

He wanks over Hitler and wins the war

I think I get it now, but it does seem a complicated path.

The Pope angle seems a little crowbarred in. I mean why the pope? Why not Mickey Mouse or any other character who is far removed from sex?

I am glad the Pope is back in as to my mind there is a connection with the Pope and 'forbidden sex' (a lot of his other staff have been caught at it too..)

I don't like the gardening reference though, I preferred the original line where he was caught looking at Christiam web sites (or maybe Church of England websites?).

To me that's more of a connection with the Pope and therefore funnier.