The Never Ending (Funny?) Story

Okay let's see where this can go. No comments please (unless cleverly worked into the addon). What I would like to start is a continuous story. Each person writes a paragraph and the next person continues the story in whatever direction they want to:

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Catslap opened the little door and wondered what was inside. He so desperately wanted to find out but how ever was he going to get inside? He thought for only a short time before he knew exactly what had to happen next.

The door opened on a vast starry vastness, and a voice boomed forth.
"You are a dull person, with a silly name,"

And lo Catslap was squished by a giant thumb, like something out of MontyPython. Only different because it was a thumb.

Meanwhile on a storm tossed ocean, a huge container ship roiled in the waves.

Adolf Hitler, Dr Horrible, Mao Tse Tsung stood upon the deck.
They all smiled evilly.

Below decks were cases, and cases marked with a smiley face.
And in red letters,
"Danger contains rubbish puns,"

The 6th horseman of the appocalypse.

Crap Jokes.

Was about to be unleashed.

And sure enough when it was, it turned out to be a gay, black, disabled female version of Jim Davidson who immediately changed it's name to Jemima Piddle-Puck. After that it got a job on a desert island as a fruit piker. That's piker not picker, just so you know. Just then a submarine surfaced a little way off shore. Jemima put down the pike and looked on in amazement.

"But look yonder on the horizon", Jemina enthused, "here comes Little Miss Jocelyn. Truly were are saved from shite jokes and puns".

Alas it was a massive slick of toxic pollution, that exterminated all life.

Easy to mistake for MS Jocelyn.

OR IS IT?!!

Said the Fat controller at the BBC, (refering to when some one in Eastenders would buy a washing machine).

Meanwhile on with our plan to destroy Australia by bombarding it with toxic copies of My Family, and Keeping up Appearances.

Prepare the shit cannon, and set it to Tub Girl, full spray velocity.

Mu ha ha

Soon the Big Bad Corporation will rule the world.

But all was almost lost when a man who looked uncannily like another man said that it was time the BBC spent some of the taxpayers money trying to find somebody who was actually funny. The whole Corporation was AGHAST! 'How are we going to do that?' cried The Fat Controller, 'I mean, how you can tell?' The answer of course, is blowing in the wind-up. Just then the clock struck 09:45 and The Fat Controller decided it was time for lunch. 'Don't forget to book my pedicure', he said to his secretary as he strode off down the corridor in his usual jaunty manner.

...And all was quiet save for the sound of tumbleweed and writer's block as they blowed eerily through the corridor.

*Shuts door on way the out*

Meanwhile down that corridor behind a locked door something evil grew, evil and insidious.

It was the John Barrowman sitcom!

The door was shut firmly, properly and with authority. Tremors from the door shutting put two love-making hummingbirds off their stroke in Ecuadoor. A tiny tsunami whipped a beach ball into the air quite close to Newquay. A man who tried to fart in Uzbekistan had an inward reverse emission causing him to emit a putrid belch. Meanwhile back at the ranch...

...John Barrowman had saddled up and was going bare back....Getting his sitcom commissioned was riding on it.

Allegedly.

Said Ian Hislop starting to cry. HIGNFY had been fun to begin with but, would it ever, ever end.

Jordan was presenting this week she stared bovinely at the card.

Ere can you read this for me, it's got big words innit.

As she handed her script to guest star of the week......

Quote: Griff @ August 4 2008, 9:06 PM BST

THE END

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....Clive Dunn. 'I'll try and help dear, but I haven't got my reading glasses with me, have you got A PAIR?'