The Justice flatshare of America Page 2

EPISODE 2

THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE TALKING TO SOME ONE WE CAN'T SEE AT A TABLE.

UNSEEN

You call yourselves the Justice League? Your just a gang of elitist bullies, and racists.

BATMAN

That's not fair.

UNSEEN

Ever since I joined you've given me the worst jobs, laughed at me. But the bananas in my locker were the last straw.

SUPERMAN

We were just trying to help.

WE CAN NOW SEE IT'S BANANA MAN THEY'RE TALKING TO, HE STORMS OUT.

SUPERTED AND SPOTTY ENTERS THE ROOM.

SUPERTED

I'm not happy. Just because I'm a bear does not make me fat, or a homosexual. And Spotty does not have herpes.

SPOTTY

Erm Superted, I really wanted to discuss this in private.

WE CAN NOW SEE MARTIAN MANHUNTER HAS BIG UNPLEASANT SPOTS ALL OVER.

SUPERTED

Whore

Liked the Joker text and the spotty herpes, but wasn't there some cartoon series on MTV recently that had cartoon superheroes sharing a flat?

Drawn TOgether, and there was a skit on it in Robot Chicken.

No truly original jokes, but I some unusual twists.

EPISODE 3, SUPER DICKS.

THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE IN A RESTAURANT.

AQUAMAN

I know you guys think I'm lame, and a bit wet.

EMBARASSED LAUGHS.

But it's so nice of you to take me out to dinner for my birthday. What kind of restaurant is this?

SUPERMAN

Sushi

HAWKMAN

We'll have the 30 fish special platter.

SUSHI CHEFS START HACKING UP LOTS OF FISH.

AQUAMAN DROPS TO THE FLOOR IN TEARS

SUPERMAN

Psyche! Fish ball man.

BATMAN(UNSHAVEN ROUGH LOOKING) IS SWALLOWING LIVE GOLDFISH AND WASHING THEM DOWN WITH A PITCHER OF BEER.

AQUAMAN

Oh god the screams, you're killing them.

I expected some sketches like this from you once I read the 'Superhero' thread. But this is better than I was expecting, although the 1st effort was the best by far IMO

Now that you are not using them can you send me all your topical skit ideas, otherwise I'm going to have to start watching/listening/reading the news

That's the thing with runners first and last are always best.

[quote name="sootyj" post="224790" date="August 3 2008, 1:12 PM BST"]EPISODE 2

EPISODE 2 REDUX

Is this an improvement? I hate removing drafts.

THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE TALKING TO SOME ONE WE CAN'T SEE AT A TABLE.

UNSEEN

You call yourselves the Justice League? Your just a gang of elitist bullies, and racists.

BATMAN

That's not fair. Green Lanterns black, and Martian Manhunter's green.

UNSEEN

But you're all Americans.

WONDERWOMAN

But I'm for Themaskara, and a lesbian.

BATMAN (Quietly)

Damn, 3 wasted years.

UNSEEN

Then your picky in who you hate. The bananas in my locker were the last straw.

SUPERMAN

We were just trying to help.

WE CAN NOW SEE IT'S BANANA MAN THEY'RE TALKING TO

BANANAMAN

And the graffiti, saying I shagged Supergran? Goodbye

FLYS OFF.

AQUAMAN

What a dick, I mean I'm half fish but you all like me?

SUPERMAN

Shut it tight arse.

BATMAN

Gonna cry, I got a tuna sandwich you could talk to.

I was hoping that My Hero on BBC1 was going to have jokes like these, but it never lived up to its promise. Definitely a subject for you to work with, sootyj.

Thanks Myhero sucked ass.

Check out the vastly superior Tick, especially the animated version.

Spoon!

Have you thought of re-dubbing Justice League or Super Friends a la Perry Nium?

No technological skills.

And it's been done pretty well already.

I may wander the tube with a copy of The Ultimates shouting my over dub at people.

BATMAN IS SITTING IN A GRUBBY STREET LOOKING DISHEVELLED, HE HAS A HALF FINISHED BOTTTLE OF THUNDER BIRD, AND SEVERAL EMPTIES.

THERE'S A CARD IN FRONT OF HIM ON WHICH IS WRITTEN

"Will fight crime for 5 bucks,"HE HAS A BAT MASK NEXT TO IT WITH A FEW PENNIES IN IT,

THE PENGUIN WALKS UPTO HIM.

PENGUIN

Waack, Waack, Waa is that the fabled caped crusader?

BATMAN

Hey Penguin, they all want you to fight crime when it's free.

PENGUIN

Waaack, wasn't Bats full of bountiful green moola?

BATMAN

Yeh, how was I to know Wayne Industries billions were based on the subrprime mortgage market? So you want me to fight crime for 5 bucks?

PENGUIN

Waack no, Caped Loose=aider.

BATMAN

Sigh I'll flip the card.

TURNS SIGN OVER ON THE OTHER SIDE IT SAYS.

"Peak under the hood 5 dollars, beat up Batman 10 dollars,"

BATMAN

I'll just numb myself first.

WASHES SOME PILLS DOWN WITH THUNDERBIRD.

PENGUIN

Waack, what do I get for 20 bucks? Waack waack, a trip to your personal bat cave?

SUDDENLY WE SEE THE BAT SIGNAL ON THE SKY, UNDER THE BAT SIGN
"Batman we still love you, Clark's sorry come home."

BATMAN JUMPS UP,

BATMAN
To the flatshare! I'll take the Batmobile,

BATMAN GRABS A SHOPPING TROLLEY FILLED WITH CRAP, THERE IS A CRUDE PICTURE OF A BAT ON THE FRONT.

RUNS DOWN THE STREET SHOUTING

"Dinna dinna Batman, Batman,"

PENGUIN