PIRATE HEAD MASTER IS TALKING TO 2 PARENTS (WHO ARE BOTH PARENTS)
DAD
I canst not believe our little Dicky Turpin is dead. How did it come to be?
HEAD
It's a tragic tale, he walked the school plank. Did ye know your son, was a, was a highway man?
DAD
That's a blasted lie, I'll slice ye from stern to gizzard.
REACHES FOR HIS CUTLASS.
MUM PUTS HER HAND ON HIS ARM, AND IS WEEPING SOFTLY.
MUM
Brian I've known. You can't hide things from a mother. Magazines full of stage coaches, that horse he hid under the bed.
DAD
Aye I've known all along. You hear me ye lilly livered headmaster, I loved my dead highway man son.
HEAD
Are ye mad? A highway man son? No ship of his own, no island with buired treasure? I see his ma has too much influence, made him into a....highway man.
DAD REACHES FOR HIS CUTLASS.
DAD
Why ye gutless cur.
MUM PUTS HER HAND ON HIS ARM.
No Brian it isn't what Dicky would want, we'll a compliant in through the PLEA.
THEY LEAVE.
A POLICE MAN ENTERS THE OFFICE.
POLICE MAN
Captain Black heart, I have some sad news for you.
HEADMASTER
Well spit it out man.
POLICE MAN
Your son is dead, he hung himself from your yard arm. I'm afriad there was a horse, a peephole mask, and a picture of a stage coach found at the scene.
HEADMASTER
Oh my boy, I've been an old Pirate fool.
WEEPS
GRAMS ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER PLAYS OUT AN ACCORDION
VO
Highway man-o-phobia affects us all.