Misognystic?

A BARMAN IS TALKING TO A WOMAN, HE SEEMS TO BE WRITING
WOMAN

Bah all men are pigs.

BAR

Really why do you say that, why so sad?

WOMAN

I was going out with a guy, seemed nice went back to his flat and it's full of posters of underwear models.

BAR

Common mistake that.

WOMAN

What is?

BAR

Well we all fantasise about what we don't have or don't want.

WOMAN

Eh?

BAR

Well you fantasise about Johnny Depp as a pirate, but would you really want to spend your life on a boat, with smelly pirates?

WOMAN

No, so if a fella watches loads of Shwarzenegerr films, and cage fighting.

BAR

He probably wears your underwear, and reads Good Housekeeping with a massive boner.

WOMAN

So we fantasise about what don't want? And the more odd, and unsettling the person, the likelier they are to be sweet and normal underneath.

BAR

Yes

A MAN WALKS IN A DIRTY BLOOD STAINED SUIT, HE HAS MAD STARY EYES.

MAN

Fancy going to the disco.

WOMAN

You know what yes,

SHE WALKS OUT HAND IN HAND WITH MAN.

WE SEE BAR MAN HAS ACTUALLY BEEN SKETCHING THE WOMAN. HE OPENS A BIG ALBUM HE FLICKS THROUGH PAGES, EACH ONE HAS A "MISSING POSTER" ALONG WITH A SKETCH ON EACH PAGE.

HE ADDS HER PICTURE TO THE LAST PAGE.

Err, more weird than wonderful. Not your usual style. I can see it's dark, but is it funny? That's a genuine question as this sort of humour is generally not my thing.

I'm messing around with less funny, (put's on pretensious hat) more philosophical stuff.

I like that this skit has a couple of twists, and it's quite low key.

But you may be right, it may be jsut not that funny.

Thanks.

The sketch/missing person reveal worked for me.

I quite liked it.

Thanks, do you think that it's a bit more subdued than my usual thing helps?

Quote: Chris Forshaw @ August 1 2008, 4:14 PM BST

I quite liked it.

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Me too. I just got a bit confused because it changes between BAR and MAN for the barman's lines and then at the end there's MAN for the new guy.

Oh and it's a bit unclear on first reading what the "Common mistake that." refers to.

Only sootyj could call a sketch with a man in a blood-stained suit and mad staring eyes taking a woman off to certain death "subdued."

I enjoyed it, by the way, although I thought the speed the woman came round to the barman's way of thinking was a bit abrupt.

I liked this. I'd keep your dialogue tags consistent to avoid confusion. It's less topical and dark. I would try and trim to get in faster but that's personal taste.

at Graham's subdued remark.

This must be what it's like when one's parents argues.

I hate it when you fight.