Sketch Sketch

1. INT. Police station interview room. MRS POTTER sitting at table, with interviewing officer SGT STONE and police artist HIGGINS.

STONE
Now, can you describe your attacker for our artist? Take your time.

MRS POTTER
Ooh, he was very fierce-looking. He had a scar on his cheek.

HIGGINS (drawing on pad)
Which cheek?

MRS POTTER
His right. Er, spiky hair. It was brown. Er, a glass eye . . .

DISSOLVE TO:

2. INT. Police station interview room. Some time later.

MRS POTTER
... and an earring, shaped like a skull and crossbones.

HIGGINS
... skull and crossbones. Right.

HIGGINS finishes with a flourish. Hands pad to STONE.

STONE
Is this him?

STONE reveals pad to MRS POTTER. It is a very childish scrawl, with comically spiky hair and a fierce expression.

CUT TO:

3. INT. Police station. Identity parade. Camera tracks behind the suspects. STONE and younger OFFICER present with MRS POTTER.

STONE
Now, take your time, Mrs Potter.

MRS POTTER walks past several suspects with thoughtful expression on her face. She steps forward and examines one closely then moves on.

Shot on MRS POTTER's face

MRS POTTER
That's him. That's the man who attacked me.

Camera reveals cardboard cutout of stick man with face identical to HIGGINS' scrawl.

OFFICER
Sarge! He's getting away!

CUT TO:

3. EXT. Outside police station. New cutout of stick man in unconvincing running pose on steps. Completely still. People walk past normally.

END.

Just not enough in this to tickle me I'm afraid. Loving your new avatar though, did it take longer to do than this sketch?

Cheeky sod.

I like this. I think the build up needs trimming a bit because it gives the impression that she's describing a pirate. I could see this going on longer at the end though, perhaps a bit more with the police chasing and arresting him.

Great minds?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hYJHKyoFC84

Quote: The Cool Mikado @ July 31 2008, 12:24 PM BST

Great minds?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hYJHKyoFC84

View original

In my defence, mine's shorter. Plus, I don't have posh telly so I've never seen that sketch.

Tut, anybody in the market for a sketch about a dead cockatoo?

I can't see youtube from work. What sketch is it?

It's an American MTV sketch about a drive-by cop killer, with a sketch artist who draws a caricature with a massive head and a comedy car.

And four minutes later, the cop who's described the killer is gunned down by him, and he's a caricature with a massive head and a comedy car.

Good dialogue and build up to the punchline which I didn't expect - from YOU, that is! I.E. various versions of this type of sketch have been used in many sketch shows the like of Russ Abbott, Cannon & Ball, Little & Large, etc.,

One that springs to mind is:

A man looking through photos of an adult contact magazine spots a photo of an attractive woman. Her face is masked by a black oblong. Cut to a pub where man is chatting with the same woman - and yes, you've guessed it (well, you would wouldn't you?) - her face is still maskeded by a black oblong.

Seen that one a few times as well!

Having rambled on however, I think you could end it where STONE reveals pad to MRS POTTER. This was unexpected and funny!

I wish I'd never written this sketch. All the goodwill I've built up, all the schmoozing, ruined by this stupid scrawl. I blame Jung and his bastard super-ego.

In fact, I wish I'd never been born.

Quote: Sofa_Matt @ July 31 2008, 10:46 AM BST

Just not enough in this to tickle me I'm afraid. Loving your new avatar though, did it take longer to do than this sketch?

View original

Quote: Graham Bandage @ July 31 2008, 12:30 PM BST

Tut, anybody in the market for a sketch about a dead cockatoo?

View original

Could be, Graham. Is it this one? (extract below)

"This cockatoo is no more! He has ceased to be! .....'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-COCKATOO!!"

Didn't see much comparison between Graham's and the YouTube clip. In fact, Graham's is more economical and funnier. I agree you need to cut to the meat faster by clipping the description as I expected a pirate too. But there's loads of potential in a "fugitive" style series.

Also agree with Morrace in that although an idea can be done before, the execution makes a difference and this is well done.

It's a classic, and put together well.

The fact that the cut out runs away is enough of a twist for me.

Me too. By 'going on longer at the end' I meant that it could be strung out a bit more, not that it should be.