JOHN NETTLES IS DRIVING IN A POLICE CAR WITH ANOTHER ACTOR.
JOHN
I can't believe they're doing this to my show, I was Berjerac.
ACTOR
Come on John it was bound to happen. There were only so many murders could take place in sleepy Midsommer before it became ridiculous.
JOHN
I know a different old duffer from a sitcom in the 70s getting killed every week, but damn it I was Berjerac.
ACTOR
We're hear now behave yourself John, and remember this is a very serious crime.
THEY GET OUT OF THE CAR AND GO INTO A POLICE STATION
THEY'RE INTERVIEWING RICHARD BRIERS WHOSE DRESSED AS A PRIEST.
JOHN
In your own words tell us what happened.
RICHARD
I was at the pub this group of lads started buying me drinks, then they told me I had nice eyes. Then, then
JOHN
What happened next father.
RICHARD
Oh they pulled me over the skittles table ....
VO
New to ITV for summer, Midsommer male, gang, rape.
