NewsRevue

Amongst the poo I churn out a sketch has been accepted by NewsRevue. So I'm posting it 'cause it may help show what kinda stuff they like.
Cheers
Michael

MASTERLY MINDS

Studio.

A POLICEMAN sits there, opposite PRINCE WILLIAM.

POLICEMAN Hello and welcome to Mastermind. My name is Smugnus Smugnusson and my contestant today is Prince William.

WILLIAM (nervous) Hello.

POLICEMAN William please fill the blank in this sentence: Iron BLANK can handle forty million pounds' worth of drugs.

WILLIAM Oh my gosh… Man? Iron Man, there's the film and…

POLICEMAN You can do better than that.

WILLIAM Lady? Iron Lady, she must've had drugs when she promised to lower unemployment.

POLICEMAN Come now… The answer is of course Duke. The Iron Duke ship.

WILLIAM By Gad. I swear I…

POLICEMAN Your next question: Prince BLANK involved.

WILLIAM Not. Prince not involved. Honest, I was nowhere near that fellow snorting drugs up my - his - rectal…

POLICEMAN William…

WILLIAM Okay - Charles! Charles involved, he had to be on drugs, dumping Diana for Camilla like that…

POLICEMAN No that's the answer. Prince William involved.

WILLIAM Oh bum…

POLICEMAN Your final question: BLANK held following Prince William on Iron Duke ship seizing forty million pounds' worth of drugs.

WILLIAM Oh buttocks… Suspect. Suspect held…

POLICEMAN Oh please…

WILLIAM Okay - crew! Crew held…

POLICEMAN The answer is of course party. Party held following…

Good stuff, the audience liked it.

Cheers! Couldn't make the show, sob, so I'm grateful for feedback.

Yeah, it is funny.

And, good idea to post an accepted sketch.

Below was my sketch that Newsrevue accepted recently.

I know I've posted it in the forum elsewhere, but I thought I'd post it here because of the relevance.

In fact, how about making this the official Newsrevue Accepted Sketches thread.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

GORDON RAMSAY FOOD CRISIS SKETCH

GORDON RAMSAY ENTERS THE STUDIO KITCHEN.

GORDON RAMSAY:
Hello. I'm Gordon Ramsay. On tonight's programme, guess what I'll be cooking for you? Yes, that's right. You guessed it. Absolutely bugger all!
And, do you know why? Well, because of the food crisis and the cost of living going up, I can't afford to buy any f**king ingredients.
Thank you, f**k off, and good night.

GORDON RAMSAY PROMPTLY LEAVES THE STUDIO KITCHEN.

END.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Course I could post up all of my latest bunch couldn't I?

LOL . I take it your sketches are filling up most of the running order for the next show.

No idea you can lose the lot in a week.

Post them if you like.
It will give a good indication of what they're after.

QUESTION: Did all your sketches get accepted, or is there a bit of an accepted/not accepted ratio?

My ratio is about 10=20 rejects for each 1 in 1.

That sounds good.

Sounds like a good idea to post up accepted sketches - help us see what they like.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/117359/detail/

Life is beyond satire.

Having had some of my work performed there in the past )yes a few years ago) I've finally booked tickets for my first visit this Saturday evening.

I'm also planning to eat at the Bridge House beforehand. Is anyone else going this weekend?

Boy, that was quick... Are Newsrevue still contacting writers? I haven't heard from them in a while so I sent a mail but haven't had a reply (yet). It may be because my material is either non-existent or total and utter f**king shit or both.

I still get the email asking for sketches but I've only sent them a couple of things in the last 5 years.