TWO SOCIAL WORKERS (FRAN AND BEL) SIT DRINKING COFFEE DISCUSSING A CASE
FRAN
Honest, it's the worst thing I've ever seen in 12 years of social work. I turn up, and the baby's in its cradle at the top of a tree.
BEL
You what?
FRAN
Honest. The wind's blowing and the cradle's rocking all over the place. God knows what would have happened if the bough had broken.
BEL
So what did you do?
FRAN
Well, I get the baby down and go in to see Mrs Hubbard. In her shoe.
BEL
What, she lives in a shoe? An actual shoe?
FRAN
Yeah, an everyday 25ft tall shoe, and dozens of kids all milling about. She doesn't know what to do with them.
BEL
But how can you live in a shoe?
FRAN
Well, she's got a little stove. But there's no food in the larder. Cupboard's bare. And there's no water. She's been sending a couple of the children up the hill to get some from the well.
BEL
What? She sends the children?
FRAN
It's worse than that. When I get there, two of them have had an accident, and fallen down the hill. The boy's got a serious head injury and what does mum do? Phone an ambulance? No. Pours vinegar into the wound and wraps his head up in brown paper. Not even a proper bandage.
BEL
So what did you do?
FRAN
Took 'em all. Applied for a court order. You can't keep children in that condition. (BEAT) So, what case you working on?
BEL
Kerry Katona.
FRAN
You poor cow.
END.
