Bikey.

GORDON IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR PLAING WITH A BIKE, SARAH CALLS HIM OFF STAGE.

SARAH

Gordon have you been a bad Prime Minister? Have you stolen David Cameron's bike?

GORDON

Haven't, shan't. He stole my electoral mandate, so I stole his bike.

DAVID CAMERON WALKS ON

DAVID

You have give it back, you lying Scotsman.

GORDON

Shan't.

SARAH COMES ON AND GIVES GORDON A CLIP AROUND THE EAR.

SARAH

Give him his bike back, or no porridge.

DAVID

Actually this is a bit embarrassing. My sons gone my boys gone missing, he's got learning disabilties, and can't take care of himself. But I love him very dearly.

SARAH

Right

SHE WALKS OFF AND COMES BACK ON WITH BORIS JOHNSON.

BORIS

He offered me some sweets, then locked me in the cellar.

Hmm I agree with you, the Fritzl thing is intrguing.

It wasn't intentional I merely wanted a gag on Brown kidnapping Boris.

But I see how it can seem a bit Fritzell, and jokes abut Dave's disabled son are both obscure and in poor taste.

[quote name="sootyj" post="217049" date="July 26 2008, 11:14 AM BST"]GORDON IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR PLAING WITH A BIKE, SARAH CALLS HIM OFF STAGE.

SARAH

Gordon have you been a bad Prime Minister? Have you stolen David Cameron's bike?

GORDON

Haven't, shan't.

DAVID CAMERON WALKS ON

DAVID

You have give it back, you lying Scotsman.

GORDON

Shan't, you, you Cameron Eileen.

GORDON SINGS INSTYLE OF COME ON EILEEN, STARTING SARCASTIC, AND ENDING CONFUSED.

Cameron Eileen, oh I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you demean everything
With you in a dress my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Ah Cameron Eileen

SARAH COMES ON AND GIVES GORDON A CLIP AROUND THE EAR.

SARAH

Stop thaty you dirty boy. Give him his bike back, or no porridge.

GORDON GIVES HIS BIKE BACK.

DAVID

You stole lower death duty, bullying the unemployed, and now my bike. Mrs Brown you're husband is a very naughty primeminister.

SARAH'S PHONE RINGS.

SARAH

I see yes, that's awful.

SARAH TO GORDON

Did you steal Alexander Salmond's Play station 3?

GORDON

It's not fair he stole Glasgow East.

That's good - excellent punchline.