The environment show

The environment show

OPENING SCENE – SOME POOR QUALITY CHEESEY MUSIC BEEN PLAYED.

V.O.- the environment show with you host Thomas Winchester.

FADES INTO: A presenter in a camp sweater vest and a politician sitting opposite him in a studio.

TOM – (makes a stupid horse noise) Well… the environment where the hell do we start ere’ then! Our special guest today is some politician who knows about the environment. I mean look at him; he’s wearing a suit!

POLITICIAN – (annoyed) I’m the environmental secretary for goodness sake!

TOM – Oh cool (shakes there hand) As the title suggests the environment show is here to show you the viewer what’s going on in the environment and what we will try and do about it. Do you agree politician women?

POLITICIAN – yes

TOM – Good. We thought today we should try and start with global warming. We sent out our reporter Ben to travel the world in the search of changing weather patterns and generally put your £120 a year to waste.

(Tom looks over at a large screen between the politician and Tom. Ben appears on the screen with a cocktail in his hand)

TOM – (stupid presenter smile) Hi their Ben, how is it over there!

BEN – Oh great Tom, but as you know its not all fun and games out here (takes a sip of his cocktail)

TOM – Well what have you found out since you’ve been out there?

BEN – Well Tom ever since I got out here it’s been getting steadily hotter as times gone by. And I have no doubt in my mind it’s down to global warming, understandable it’s Australia but in my 3 months of Norfolk local news presenting I’ve never known weather like this.

TOM – (becomes dramatic) This is exactly what slaps my thighs! When is the government going to sort out Australia!

BEN – (interrupting) Global warming Tom.

TOM – Global warming! What are you going to do about it? MP person?

POLITICIAN – Well we have a lot of environmental legislation, which is going to be passed to reduce emissions, and we are also going to tax more common folk.

TOM – That’s great, we need to sort these problems out now! Well not to quick or this show won’t last long. Anyway to round things off next week Ben’s going to Alaska (Ben looks surprised) to help penguins or something, bye! (Waves like a twat).

BBC3 V.O. – Unfortunately because of unforeseen events the environment show has been cancelled but we will be bringing you two pints of larger and a packet of crisps instead… were sorry… really sorry.

END.

ergh... bump

Aha!

Unless it's because I have a headache I found it hard to read. It was o.k though, although it needed to be longer I thought and there's room, maybe in future editions for a lot more jokes about the environment.

Yeah when I wrote this a while back I had a flood of environment jokes... I'm going to make "the environment show" into a series of about 3 sketches, something along those lines

Hmm, not my cup of tea really, it didn't seem to go anywhere and there wasn't enough gags, I don't know..it just seemed like a poor attempt at satire...sorry.

It would've worked better I feel if you just made it a total parody of those type of chat shows rather than using the political stuff.

Its been down in Big Talk that sketch from That Mitchell and Webb look. I know how you feel they used a joke i was using in my stand up so I had to drop it.

OH yeah it is a lot like big talk and trust me I know how you feel ajp, I was (no joking here) was writing a film action comedy about 2 cops cleaning up crime with guns basically and both had quite a similar plot... but in honesty hot fuzz was better than mine.

Sorry you don't think much of it martin, I personally liked it, it's possibly one of those sketches that the writer loves and no one else does.

Yeah maybe, its just personal opinion. I know how you guys feel about finding out your ideas have already been done, I'm currently writing Street Theatre my sitcom and certain aspects have been done on other sitcoms...for example I thought of a bit where one of the characters witnesses a man have a heart attack and collapse and goes to give him 'mouth to mouth' but then refrains from doing it cos he wouldn't feel right....and I thought that was funny and then I watched an episode of Seinfeld a few days ago and almost hte exact same thing happened on there. I was gutted.

I think it could be one of those sketches where the production plays a big part in terms of parodying that genre effectively, so it's hard to see the potential from the script alone. I think the policitician could sound a bit more authentic, maybe throw a few standard phrases from the Times in there.

Hi Paul

It was a bit Chris Morris meets Big Talk for me, I'm afraid so it seemed a bit unoriginal. I like the bloke in Australia doing his bit and the ensuing banter, so it might be better doing a series of the newscaster and this bloke and ditching the 'guest'.

Just my opinion though

Dan