Say it with flowers.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

LARGE MUNICIPAL CEMETERY ON A GREY DAY.

CAMERA MOVES IN ON A GROUP OF MOURNERS. SURROUNDING THE GRAVE ARE WREATHS THAT SPELL OUT "GRANDMA", "MUM", "DORA", "AUNTY".

CUT TO:

ENTRANCE OF CHAPEL. A LARGE GROUP OF MOURNERS STAND ON THE STEPS AS PALLBEARERS CARRY OUT A COFFIN. A WREATH ON TOP SPELLS OUT "SON" OTHERS IN HEARSE READ "BROTHER", "UNITED".

CUT TO:

FAR CORNER OF CEMETERY. BROKEN GRAVESTONES. PILES OF RUBBISH.

GRAVEDIGGER WITH SHOVEL STANDS BY OPEN GRAVE. HE FINISHES WEEING INTO THE GRAVE. ZIPS UP FLY AND STARTS SHOVELLING IN THE EARTH. CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL WREATHS AT END OF GRAVE THAT SPELL OUT "PEADO", "NONCE", "RAPIST".

kjs

Damn... why are all the good ideas already taken...?

kjs

Remniscent of but different enough from I'd say.

Good gag.

Good gag, sir. And it isn't really 'taken' - yours is different. :-)

As a minor crit, they do say avoid camera directions in script submissions. And is it 'Paedo'?

In wales, there was a great news piece where a paedophile was hounded out of house by locals - on the wall someone had sprayed "peedo" "pedo" all crossed out and 'child MOLESTAR' sprayed beneath them.

I mention the above because maybe have the flowers say 'peedo' to get that 'reactionary' Joe Public feel?

There's an even better Welsh paedo news item but I don't want to digress.

Quote: Griff @ July 16 2008, 2:48 PM BST

Funny - but very reminiscent of a similar gag in League Of Gentlemen when the hearse goes past with flowers spelling out "BASTARD".

View original

I think Arthur Haines did a similar sketch in the late 1950's?

Don't know where Arthur got it from? Laurel & Hardy maybe?

It's nicely done, and a good idea but quite familair.

I don't think being totally original is a realistic possibility anyway. Just about nobody on TV in the last ten years would have been able to make a show if they had to be. A lot of it is down to the execution of the sketch. If it were well done it could be funny even if it is familiar.

Cheers everyone...

I know the format/camera stuff is a bit off but the idea made me laugh and I wanted to get it down as clearly as possible.

The inspiration for this sketch actually came from my gorgeous wife... we were driving home when we passed a hearse, I looked in the back to see if there was a "Nan" etc wreath... My wife, a psychologist with an odd client group, wondered if you could get one that said rapist...

kjs

Just say the deceased was a Trapist Monk, and knock the T off.

Quote: SlagA @ July 16 2008, 9:04 PM BST

There's an even better Welsh paedo news item but I don't want to digress.

View original

Did that involve lambs?

(Sorry for obvious racism)

No - a PAEDIATRICIAN hounded out of her house by ignorant trogs (All they needed was to carry burning faggots to get the complete full house) - it was so bloody embarrassing, I was glad you don't get Welsh news in the rest of the UK.

KJ - Frankie (nice to see you Dude) says it best as in execution matters more. This sketch does the job imo. Guessed you knew about camera directions - eggs, suck and granma sprang to mind as I was writing my first response,

I heard of that story, still at least it brings the community together.

With the little tots in their prams, in the bracing night air.