It is quite funny, though.
Body Bags Page 2
great sketch mr biscuits.
I thought it was ok, little surprised by all the praise. I think Mr. Hustle has written better sketches before. For brilliance see Tight Dub on youtube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HWepvJpG3o
It's a much better sketch now for everone's help:
EXT. CRACK DEN - NIGHT
AT A CRIME SCENE A PAIR OF PARAMEDICS LOAD BODIES INTO BAGS. PARAMEDIC #1 ZIPS HIS BODY BAG UP TO THE VICTIM'S NECK SO ONLY HIS FACE IS EXPOSED.
PARAMEDIC #1:
(TALKING OUT THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH) Ooh, look at me, I'm a hungry, hungry caterpillar!
PARAMEDIC #2 LAUGHS AND ZIPS HIS VICTIM UP LIKEWISE.
PARAMEDIC #2:
I'm Tutankhamun and I'm on loan from the British Museum!
PARAMEDIC #1:
(LAUGHING) I'm giving birth to a man's head!
PARAMEDIC #2:
(LAUGHING) I'm the swaddled baby Jesu…
THE BODY SITS BOLT UPRIGHT AND HOLLERS.
BODY:
Arrrgh!
THE PARAMEDICS ALL BUT JUMP OUT OF THEIR SKINS. THE ‘BODY' UNZIPS HIMSELF TO REVEAL HE'S ALSO WEARING A PARAMEDIC'S OUTFIT.
PARAMEDIC #2:
Gary, you arsehole!
PARAMEDIC #1:
Have some respect for the dead, for f**k's sake.
Quote: David Bussell @ July 16 2008, 10:43 AM BSTIt's a much better sketch now for everone's help:
EXT. CRACK DEN - NIGHT
One of the bodies wouldn't have a rather large black beehive would it?
I think it's only a matter of time. Then he'll have to interview himself on "Meet the Writers".
The rewrite is top-notch, by the way.
Quote: Morrace @ July 16 2008, 3:50 PM BSTYeh, I bet he does it in front of the mirror all the time - and he interviews himself.
Meet the dork? 
Quote: Stuart Laws @ July 16 2008, 10:13 AM BSTI thought it was ok, little surprised by all the praise. I think Mr. Hustle has written better sketches before. For brilliance see Tight Dub on youtube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HWepvJpG3o
Stu, I followed that link and that sketch is up it's own ass with cleverness. It's also stays too long after the joke - which is the reversal.
Nice back projection though and neat detail with the blacked-up eye and everything.
Good skit that one, and a great actor playing Brad Pitt.
The one playing Bussell is completely unconcincing, where did you find him?
Quote: David Bussell @ July 16 2008, 10:43 AM BSTIt's a much better sketch now for everone's help:
EXT. CRACK DEN - NIGHT
AT A CRIME SCENE A PAIR OF PARAMEDICS LOAD BODIES INTO BAGS. PARAMEDIC #1 ZIPS HIS BODY BAG UP TO THE VICTIM'S NECK SO ONLY HIS FACE IS EXPOSED.
PARAMEDIC #1:
(TALKING OUT THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH) Ooh, look at me, I'm a hungry, hungry caterpillar!PARAMEDIC #2 LAUGHS AND ZIPS HIS VICTIM UP LIKEWISE.
PARAMEDIC #2:
I'm Tutankhamun and I'm on loan from the British Museum!PARAMEDIC #1:
(LAUGHING) I'm giving birth to a man's head!PARAMEDIC #2:
(LAUGHING) I'm the swaddled baby Jesu…THE BODY SITS BOLT UPRIGHT AND HOLLERS.
BODY:
Arrrgh!THE PARAMEDICS ALL BUT JUMP OUT OF THEIR SKINS. THE ‘BODY' UNZIPS HIMSELF TO REVEAL HE'S ALSO WEARING A PARAMEDIC'S OUTFIT.
PARAMEDIC #2:
Gary, you arsehole!
PARAMEDIC #1:
Have some respect for the dead, for f**k's sake.
You f**ked it now. The swaps add nothing but wind resistance. If you had to fiddle, replace the f**k with a Christ.
You know, I do kind of break the rule of three. I'll scale it back a bit. Cheers, Godot.
Very bad taste, very funny, which is nice. One suggestion: The Dishy Dagger put her finger on it when she said make the victims bad guys. Maybe you should articulate that as well as show it, put some guns etc on the floor and have the first soco say something along the lines of.
First SOCO looks down at the dead body he is zipping up, shakes his head and says.
SOCO:
It's the waste. One minute he's a twenty year old drug lord. King of his sordid Manor, dealing death and destruction by the dime bag and bullet. The next... [WAGGLES THE DEAD MAN'S HEAD] He's a hungry, hungry caterpillar... etc
Quote: Marc P @ July 17 2008, 10:08 AM BSTVery bad taste, very funny, which is nice. One suggestion: The Dishy Dagger put her finger on it when she said make the victims bad guys. Maybe you should articulate that as well as show it, put some guns etc on the floor and have the first soco say something along the lines of.
First SOCO looks down at the dead body he is zipping up, shakes his head and says.
SOCO:
It's the waste. One minute he's a twenty year old drug lord. King of his sordid Manor, dealing death and destruction by the dime bag and bullet. The next... [WAGGLES THE DEAD MAN'S HEAD] He's a hungry, hungry caterpillar... etc
That's all good stuff. Consider it stolen.
Don't agree that the victims should be 'unsympathetic' or bad guys, why is that funnier? To me it's funny that these inncoent, everyday dead people are being messed with by the paramedics who obviously don't care about them; why is it better if the dead people we're obviously nasty in real lfe? It's funnier if it's just everyday folk who are being royally abused in death; that's a big slice of what would make this funny to me. Dead gangster being abused-so what? Dead primary school teacher-now we're getting somewhere!