Timmy 4 life

MAN IS IN A HOSPITAL BED, TALKING TO A NURSE.

MAN

I said you can't spray suck your mum on my garage. And you've spelt mum, with 2 w's and a semi colon. So he says what you going to do about it old school fool?

NURSE

Is that when he stabbed you?

MAN

Oh no I says I flew Lancasters over Berlin in World War 2, and killed thousands what do you think of that? So he says "where's your plane now?" Thats when he stabbed me.

NURSE

I see Mr Jones. Well Timmy 4 Life will be here to see you soon.

MAN

The little blighter who stabbed me. Is this Labour's new criminals meeting victims in hospital malrkey to apologise?

NURSE

No he's the surgeon. He's so good at stabbing they made him head of surgery for his community service.

It's a good gag but I think you could lose the first half easily enough. I don't think we need to know why he was stabbed.

I'm with Afinkawan on this one. I also think the Man needs a closing line of some sort.

I think the gag about the mispelling could be sharper/funnier and I didn't like the last line. But there is a good sketch here if you can work on it. THe connection between stabbing and surgery doesn't really work for me - maybe the surgeon is the father of the stabber or mabye the stabbee himself is?? Either way a funnier out but I did like the where's your plane now.

I think the idea of the stabber becoming a surgeon is the crux of the skit, with out it's jsut a bit silly.

But I agree it it clunky, a line about the NHS being broke and relying on dodgy staff could work better.

Will think on it..

Well it's your gag Mister S but I think it has to be either Satire or Surreal. The best Satire has truth at the heart of it, not just silliness.

Timmy was so good at cutting people open that the NHS hired him, saving years of expensive training.

The "where's your plane now?" is classic.

Ah now I see that's a class line! Thanks Bad dog.

I think Where;s your plane now, may have to become a runner.

[quote name="sootyj" post="206154" date="July 14 2008, 10:45 PM BST"]MAN IS IN A HOSPITAL BED, TALKING TO A NURSE.

MAN

So I says I flew Lancasters over Berlin in World War 2, and killed thousands what do you think of that Sonny Jim? So he says "where's your plane now?" That's when he stabbed me.

NURSE

I see Mr Jones. Well Timmy 4 Life will be here to see you soon.

MAN

The little blighter who stabbed me. Is this Labour's new criminals meeting victims in hospital malrkey to apologise?

NURSE

No he's the surgeon. He's so good at cutting people they made him head of surgery.

MAN

Couldn't you just send him to prison?

NURSE

So he can get raped? You'd like that you paedophile I'm putting you on the sex offenders register.

I agree it's a fine little sketch but i really don't like the last line. The nurse has sudenly turned irrational and even with great suspension of disbelief she couldn't get him on a sex offenders list. Maybe that's unnecessary nitpicking but what do you think of this instead?

MAN: Couldn't you just hand him back to the cops?

NURSE: Heavens no. He's even better with a handgun. We don't want to lose him to the London Transport Police.

Or maybe:

MAN: Couldn't you just send him to the Chaplain for counselling?

NURSE: Heavens no. He's an even better rapist. We don't want to lose him to the priesthood.

Ach that final line, nice suggestions will work on it.

Thanks