It's My Job! (SKETCH)

Just an idea I've had. Let me know what you think, thanks.

A MAN (ANDY) IS DRIVING WHEN HE NOTICES A MAN LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

Andy
Jesus christ! (GETS OUT OF CAR)

Traffic Warden
(COUGHS AND LAUGHS) That'll be 70 quid in my pocket, thank you very much. (SLAPS TICKET ON TO CAR)

Andy
You can't do that, he needs help. Look at him.

Man
Hurry up! I'm losing the feeling in my legs.

Andy
How can you fine me, he might die, I needed to stop.

Traffic Warden
If there's a chance he might die, you should have parked around the corner. The result would have been one dead man and no fine, but now, since you have illegally parked, we have one dead man and a fine. Sorry but that's the way it is.

Andy
But...

Traffic Warden
Let me see (GETS OUT LITTLE BOOK) Parking on double yellow lines while assisting to a man near death (PAUSE) You guessed it, still illegal!

Andy
I can't let him die I needed.....

Traffic Warden
God damn! How hard is this? You're parked on double yellow lines, it's illegal, dead man or no dead man.

Man
I'm not dead! (CRIES)

Traffic Warden
Yet. (SMIRKS) Only this time last week, there was a man who had stopped to help a group of orphaned children cross the road because there carer was blind. I still had to fine the bloke for parking on double yellow lines. They need to respect authority!

Man
Are you guys going to help me or what?

Andy
(SIGHS) After I move my car.

Man
What? But my legs!

Traffic Warden
Couldn't give me a lift could you? Only some bastard has clamped my car! Heartless f**kers!

(CAMERA SHOWS A CLAMPED CAR ON DOUBLE YELLOW LINES)

Andy
Get in. (THEY DRIVE OFF)

Man
But my legs (CRIES) Come back (PAUSE) Please!

Hey i really liked it. Think it'd also be good if it were some reckless racket hatched by a local council to notch up even more parking fine money, y'know - the injured guy or 'blind' man gets up and shuffles off afterwards?

That's what I thought it was at first. A ploy to catch the driver.

Nice little sketch. It would be harder to set up but I think this would work really nicely as a radio sketch, I think the pathos of the man left dying in the road would work better in audio only. For a TV sketch, I think you'd want to go the route of comedy gore.

Cheers for the feedback guys.

Well spotted Griff, thanks, I'll change that now.

Paul I like this.

Could you make it a red route instead of yellow lines? And have a parking official clamp the man's car while the warden is issuing the ticket instead?

Good work.

Thanks for the feedback,

'And have a parking official clamp the man's car while the warden is issuing the ticket instead?'

I like that idea, I may work on that, cheers, much appreciated.