I was told that it was better to post this on ‘Writers' Discussion'.
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It was with great sadness and regret that I learnt that David Moreton left the British Sitcom Guide Forums. His parting words within his ‘Critique' thread, ‘Sitcom - appraisal welcome' were:
"You know what; this is it for me now. End game."
"So it's pointless for me to post any more stuff up, just to see it and myself ridiculed."
David was a highly respected and valued member of the BSG Forums. He was renowned as a committed and tireless ‘poster' with phenomenal levels of energy and productive output. His passion for understanding comedy was an inspiration to us all and his leaving is a terrible loss.
The critiques posted of David's ‘The Jokes on You', bear testimony to the high esteem in which he was held.
In one of his own posts he described his creation, the (legendary) Muldoon, "Clearly, he just wants to be loved - but via outlandish swearing, he puts up a wall against any detractors."
I believe this was an apt description of David himself.
We knew little about David (apart from his writing talent). His profile read:
davidmoreton
Location: England
Member Since: June 2008
Member Type: Member
Posts: 37
Therefore, the only biography I can post of David is a quick fictional one:
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David was born in Spellcheck, England; a little village just outside of Wedlock. Being English by his mother and Irish by a friend of his father; whenever he went to confession, he left halfway through.
He left school at sixteen with no formal qualifications - but with an ability to say, f**k, c**t, twat, tit, shit, wank and The Joke's on You in five languages.
His first port of employ was ‘Le Greasy Spoon Cafe' in the poorer part of Peckham, London. It was here that David honed his writing skills. However, writing menus was not his forté, so he went to university in Oxford. The remuneration for cleaning halls in Cambridge University was unrewarding but a lot less greasy than before.
It was at university that David befriended Rupert, a student who graduated with a degree in filmmaking and videography. Rupert, who became a TV producer rekindled their friendship in later years, was to prove pivotal in David's comedy-writing career.
In 2006, the weekend parties in the halls took their toll. The clearing up of vomit, empty beer-cans, bottles, comatose students and used condoms every Monday morning proved too much for David, so he decided to return to London. On arrival, to support his writing endeavours, he quickly secured a job as a general assistant at Tesco's. It was there that David conceived the idea of his sitcom ‘The Joke's on You'. The conception occurred when an egg fell on his head and a colleague mocked "Ha! The yoke's on you!" David ran after him shouting, "tit, c**t, wank, prick!"
That night the words "tit, c**t, wank, prick!", and "The yoke's on you!" preyed on his mind. He couldn't sleep. This HAD to be a sign. David typed feverishly all night and in the in morning gave birth to the first draft of "The Joke's on You". Later that same morning, bleary-eyed, David, who was not exactly in line for promotion at work, took delivery of his final written warning. The contents read:
David
On June 15, you were verbally warned that your rudeness to customers was unacceptable. You were asked to be courteous to all customers at all times, even if customers are angry. On July 31, you were advised for a second time by letter that your rudeness to customers is unacceptable. You have received more than enough verbal and written warnings. Therefore, this is your final written warning.
Let me remind you of altercations you have had with some of our valued customers:
1. When a pregnant lady accidentally bumped into you, you retorted, "For c**t's sake, that gave me one f**k of a shock! Twat!"
2. A nun fell out of her wheelchair at your feet – you looked down on her saying, "Well, if you expect me to help you then…the jokes on you."
3. When you assisted in the Pharmacy, an elderly woman asked for the best medicine to treat her lower abdomen. Your reply, in the form of a question, was, "What the c**t?"
4. When you tried to engage a teenage schoolgirl in conversation whilst assisting in the Photography Department, she burst into tears when you said, "Some c**t's being a prick about my photos on myspace."
5. In the Toy Department when a six year-old boy, accompanied by his mother, asked your opinion of the Star War figures, you replied in a somewhat offhand manner, "Twats in space!"
This behaviour is totally unacceptable and should anything similar occur between you and any of our valued customers – or staff for that matter – it will result in your instant dismissal.
Denis Harrington
Departmental Manager.
It was soon after the above warning that David was dismissed. This was the best thing that ever happened to him (and us), as the very next day he signed up to British Sitcom Guide Forums and the rest is history.
He will be sadly missed.
