THE FUHRER BUNKER, THE LAST DAYS A GROUP OF SENIOR NAZIS ARE SITTING OUTSIDE A CLOSED DOOR. SHELLS CRASH ALL AROUND AND PLASTER FALLS FROM THE CEILING.
NAZI1
This is terrible, the Reds are everywhere we are doomed.
NAZI2
And the person the Fuhrer will talk to is Herr Shickle-Wangler, that sinister voodoo sex therapist.
GUN SHOT RINGS OUT, HERR SHICKLE-WANGLER COMES OUT OF THE OFFICE. HE IS WEARING BLOOD STAINED ROBES, AND HAS A DOCTORS BAGS. HE'S ALSO AN ENGLISH ACTOR, IN BLACK FACE.
HERR SHICKLE WANGLER
He killed himself, you can collect his remains.
HE WALKS OFF
NAZI1 RUNS IN TO THE OFFICE AND RUNS OUT AGAIN VERY PALE
NAZI 1
Stop him, he took the Fuhrer's little field marshal.
VO
Coming this summer from Rampant Lion films, a new world of terror.
SCENE 2
A 1950S ENGLISH KITCHEN A HOUSE WIFE IS MAKING A VERY LARGE COLLECTION OF CUCUMBER SANDWICHES.
AS SHE REACHES FOR THE NEXT CUCUMBER IT RISES UP LIKE A PYTHON BEFORE HER, AND HISSES.
SCENE3
A MAN GOES INTO A GARDEN WITH A BIG BAG OF SALT.
MAN
I'll get those ruddy slugs, Maureen!
HIS WIFE IS LYING DEAD IN THE GARDEN COVERED IN SLUGS.
VO
If it's shaped like a carrot it can command it to kill, and kill again.
SCENE4
A SCHOOL BOY IS BENT OF A DESK ABOUT TO BE CAINED, HIS HEAD TEACHER IS WRITHING ON THE FLOOR A CANE WRAPPED ROUND HIS THROAT, STRANGLING HIM.
BOY
Sir, sir are you ok?
VO
They saved Hitler's cock, because some times evil only needs one eye.
SCENE 5
A SEVERED COCK STANDING SINISTERLY ILLUMINATED, IT HAS A LITTLE MOUSTACHE.