Int. Bedroom
A demonic looking girl is strapped to a bed and struggling at her bonds. A woman and a priest are stood by.
Woman: What's wrong with her, Father?
Priest: Your daughter is possessed by the devil himself.
Woman: Oh my God!
Priest. I must perform an exorcism. Immediately.
The priest takes a cross out of his bag. He holds it up and takes a deep breath.
Priest: Actually, d'you think you could put some music on? It helps me concentrate.
Woman: Anything in particular?
Priest: Have you got any Gregorian chanting?
Woman: I'll have a look downstairs.
The woman exits. The girl starts rasping.
Girl: Your mother dies! She dies in my eyes!
Priest: Very good.
The woman re-enters with a CD.
Woman: The closest thing we've got is Mungo Jerry.
Priest: It'll do.
The woman goes to a hifi and puts the CD on. 'In The Summertime' starts up. The priest holds his cross up.
Priest: Be gone foul beast! Leave this daughter of Adam! Flee back to Hades and (SINGING) In the summer time, when the weather's fine-
Woman: What are you doing?
Priest: Oops! Got a bit carried away there! I was a big MJ fan back in the day! One moment.
The priest composes himself and holds his cross back up.
Priest: Be blinded by the light of our Lord! Crawl back to your sulphurous pit and (SINGING) If her daddie's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddie's poor, just do as you feel-
Girl: NO. MORE. MUNGGGGGOOOO!
Priest: Oh sorry!
Woman: Wait. I think it's working. Sing some more.
Priest: We love everybody but we do as we please, when the weather's fine
we go fishing, or go swimming in the sea-
The girl's struggling has reached epic levels. She explodes – covering the priest and woman in green liquid.
Priest: Can you do me a copy of this?
ENDS