Vicks Inhaler

INT. A LIVING ROOM - DAY

There are 2 men in a room, Paul and John. Paul does not look too well (red nose, keeps sniffling, etc).

JOHN
Jesus Paul, you don't look too well

PAUL
I've got a nasty cold. I can hardly breathe!

JOHN
Here (tosses a vicks inhaler to Paul) this should help with the breathing. I always use it

Paul holds up the inhaler and examines it.

Fade out and back in.

Paul walks into the room. John is sat watching TV.

JOHN
Feeling any better mate?

PAUL
Not really

JOHN
Did the thing I gave you not help?

PAUL
A bit, but I did only just put it up there

John looks at Paul, confused.

JOHN
Put it up where?

Paul is pulling at the seat of his pants and looks uncomfortable, then slowly lowers himself into the couch with John. As his behind reaches the couch he suddenly jolts back up in pain.

PAUL
(Rubbing behind with both hands)
Is it supposed to burn this much?

Really good I think... only thing is that maybe dont use the word "inhaler" as it should be obvious to the audience that its an inhaler and make the guy sticking it up his ass a bit *too* much of an idiot.

It's a bit of an old joke, and ends a bit slowly.

Not heard it before, but sootyj is right, you have dragged out the punchline

Why do you have three characters? You only need two. (And it might stop you attributing lines to the wrong character!)

Ah thanks for the feedback. I did think twice about acutally saying inhaler in the dialogue, infact I even removed it in the version I have on my computer, just never edited this version.

Didn't notice the wrong names before, good spot.

Will edit now.