British Comedy Guide

Teachers dilemma

ENTRANCE TO PLAYSCHOOL A PARENT KNOCKS ON THE DOOR.
THE DOOR OPENS SMOKE BILLOWS OUT A TEACHER EMERGES.

PARENT:
Er…sorry I’m a bit early but Ryan has a dentists appointment.

TEACHER:
No problem, I’ll just get him.

THE DOOR OPENS AND SMOKE BILLOWS OUT AGAIN.

PARENT:
Before you do, can I ask what is going in there?

TEACHER:
CLOSES THE DOOR
It’s Thursday.

PARENT:
I know it’s Thursday, why is that relevant?

TEACHER:
Social development, smoking and drinking. We’ve managed to get through five hundred Lambert and Butlers and six litres of Sailor Jerry rum this morning. (Proudly)

PARENT:
That is the most irresponsible thing I have ever heard. I have a good mind to report you for this. I am livid.

TEACHER:
Please calm down, what can we do to resolve things.

PARENT:
I should think that was bloody obvious.

TEACHER:
Not really.

PARENT:
They should be smoking outside in the playground.

Dialogue was quite clunky and punchline not too funny. But not sure why, reading it again it seems like it could be funny. Just needs to be zippier I think.

This could have been the most useless critique ever.

Anyway, hello to you Mr. Slug, I'm loving that name

Well never mind.

Critique none the less.Got any kids and ever been to a playschool door?

Thanks for the welcome, at least no salt!!!!

I don't have kids but I frequently work near playschool doors.

Heh heh, please add with you experiences.

Good idea, but for me needs to go in 2 directions

1 very quick, maybe only 4-5 lines

or

2 much more detial, maybe about it being an ofsted requirement
followed by quick punchline on smoiking in playground

Sound advice from sootyj.

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