British Comedy Guide

Better than Elizabeth Duke

A YOUNG COUPLE ENTER A HIGH STREET JEWELLERS SHOP

MR. HINKLE:
Good afternoon what can I do to assist?

BRIONY:
Can I try on the white gold ring with the single stone, E4145 in the window?

MR. HINKLE:
Right away madam.

MR HINKLE RETRIEVES ITEM

DARYL:
Let’s go to Argos it’s cheaper.

MR HINKLE:
I assure you sir that we at Hinkle, Winkle and Cock are the finest purveyors of reconditioned jewellery in town.

PLACING RING ON BRIONYS FINGER.

BRIONY:
It’s a bit loose. Have you anything similar but a bit smaller?

MR. HINKLE:
You’re in luck, just in this morning.

PULLS OUT A SEVERED HAND, STRUGGLES TO GET RING OFF A FINGER WITH PLIERS. HANDS BLOODY RING TO BRIONY WHO PUTS IT ON.

BRIONY:
Oooh its lovely. How much?

MR. HINKLE:
Seven hundred and fifty pounds.

DARYL:
(Open mouthed) You must be joking, I’m having nothing to do with that. You’re f**king sick both of you.

BRIONY:
Don’t be such a baby.

HANDS RING BACK.
He’s probably right though. Do you have any nice necklaces for less than two hundred?

MR. HINKLE:
Of course we do.

PULLS OUT A SEVERED HEAD AND NECK STILL WEARING A GOLD CHAIN.
Yours for one-hundred and seventy five pounds.

DARYL:
That’s much better.

Wouldn't a gold chain fall off a neck in the absence of shoulders? Sorry I tend t be a bit literal.

In the presence of gravity yes.

With comedy, no.

I thought there was a good idea here, and the first part of the sketch is fine (though would probably lose the comedy name of the jewellers - in fact I think you could probably lose both the whole of both this line and the previous line).

The second part of the sketch I was less comfortable with. Presumably Daryl's putting aside his scruples on hearing the price is the punchline, but to me it is a bit weak. I think the twist needs to be stronger. Perhaps you could have Daryl ask if the jeweller will throw in the ear-rings?

The head could always be in a jar (futurama style) or something that keeps the necklace on it.

Also the one minor adjustment I would make is to change Cock to Koch, because the other two names sound German, so it sorta falls in with them better.

But all in all, nice sketch

It's a nice skit, but it feels like it's missing something.

Somehow the switch from you use jewllery from dismembered body parts to ooh thats cheap so it's ok, it feels a bit to smooth.

Share this page