Int. – day - Waiting room at the blood bank. Several people are sat waiting. A woman – the NURSE – sits behind a counter
NURSE: O.K., he’s ready for you now.
Two men, RICK and DAVE, walk towards the door. Just before they go inside Rick stops Dave to talk.
DAVE: Just before we go in, I should warn you: my mate, the guy who'll be taking our blood donations, he’s from Eastern Europe and his English isn’t that great so you’ll have to bear with him
RICK: Gotcha
They go inside the blood bank, where behind the counter is a melodramatically overdressed vampire – greased black hair, cape, very pale white face, long sharp incisors etc. etc.
Rick goes back out, closing the door.
RICK
Dave…?
DAVE:
Yeah?
RICK:
I don't know how to say this. Dave...he’s a vampire.
DAVE LOOKS ANGRY ABOUT THIS
DAVE:
Oh right, just because he looks foreign, and wears a cape, he must be a vampire… I knew I shouldn’t have rought you here. Vlad told me he gets this all the time – you are such a racist
RICK:
No.. I’m not… it’s just the teeth… and the skin…
DAVE:
Vlad told me about people like you – he said
<DAVE PUTS ON A DRACULA-ESQUE VOICE>
Een zis country everybody says I'm a vampire just because of how I look!
RICK:
Right. That voice...
DAVE:
Oh your having a go at his accent now, are you? This is typical this is. Vlad would never have to put up with this back where he came from.
RICK:
Which is…?
DAVE:
...Transylvania… look, I know that sounds bad, but it’s just a place, Rick. Actually, he is a very respected member of the aristocracy back in Transylvania.
RICK:
A count?
DAVE:
I knew you were going to put a negative spin on that I just knew it! I’m leaving… I’ll not have you embarrass me any further.
RICK:
No, look, it’s ok… lets go in
Rick and Dave walk in to find Vlad drinking directly from one of the containers of blood. Rick looks at Dave nervously,Dave looks back stubbornly, refusing to concede the (now very obvious) point
End scene.
------------------
This is my first draft of this idea. What do you think? Can any of you think of a better ending? I felt it had gone on long enough but it could use a better punchline.