DAYTIME TV COOKERY PROGRAMME STUDIO
PRESENTER:
Hello and welcome back to a Labour Party sponsored edition of can’t cook, won’t cook. We have scoured the best land-fill sites in the country to select the choicest ditched food and supplied our teams a selection of ingredients to
do their best.
Before the break on the green team Dave Chip-Beard from Chiswick bus station was finishing off his inspired recipe for used sanitary towel marinated in unwanted tikka-massala how did you do Dave?
DAVE:
Ahhh, f**k. Needs more Domestos.
STUFFS HORRIBLE RED COLOURED FOOD INTO HIS BEARDED FACE.
PRESENTER:
And on the red team Charlotte from Ealing is just adding the runny cat litter garnish to her traditional discarded nappy and mashed parsnip with balsamic vinegar bake.
CHARLOTTE:
THROWS UP VIOLENTLY
PRESENTER:
Thank you for joining us on can’t cook, won’t cook and remember if you need to throw it away make sure it’s not edible first. Goodnight.
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Right I'm off to go through next doors bins to get dinner for the family.