Poor Allan

ALAN SUGAR IS HAVING A CUP OF TEA WITH NICK AND MARGARET

NICK

Now Alan, be honest how are you bearing up after giving up Amstrad.

ALAN

Absa-bloody-lutely fine, ere Nick this clay mug. It's been fired (beat) in a kiln.

MARGARET

Alan, we discussed this, you have to accept your retirement.

ALAN

I know is that my computer, I just had connected to broadband. It's wired.

NICK

Alan you can't keep finding excuses to pretend your firing things.

ALAN

Well then I'll start a new bloody company, with my initials at the beginning. I'll make tinned ham, Am-Spam, or a whiskey Ams-Dram.

MARGARET

Alan it's all over, me and Nick need to get back on with our lives. We're going to play a traditional English harp, at Glastonbury,

NICK

But I fear we might get stuck in the mud, but at least we'll be there with our friends from the choral society.

ALAN

I see your, Lyred, mired, and choired.

NICK and MARGARET

And we can't Ams-stand you, Alan you're retired,

I lolled at the Am-Spam bit. But tbh the rest of it seemed a bit weak

Didn't he sell Amstrad last year? If this is for a topical show then that point is a bit out of date.

Is he actually retiring now?

bskyb bought it last year - alan stayed as chairman but it was always planned he step down this summer. has little to do with the apprentice as he still runs various other companies where he sticks the poor buggers that win. as an aside, they paid 20% over the market cap for amstrad at £125m....sugar is worth £800m, mostly in property...shows the "worth" of amstrad.

i thought the sketch was alright.