INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
IN A QUIET CORNER OF A DIMLY LIT RESTAURANT A COUPLE ARE SHARING A ROMANTIC MEAL. AT FIRST WE SEE THE MAN, CLIVE. HE IS EMOTIONAL.
CLIVE
...I’d resigned myself to never finding someone… someone who would ignite the fires of passion within me… someone I could love… until I met you, Lesley...
WE SEE HIS DATE, LESLEY. LESLEY IS CLEARLY A MAN IN MAKE-UP AND A DRESS. HE DOESN’T MAKE A VERY CONVINCING WOMAN.
CLIVE
...the woman of my dreams.
LESLEY SMILES BUT HE IS CLEARLY CONCERNED.
LESLEY
Clive, that's wonderful to hear and I feel the same about you, I really do... but there's just something I need to be really sure about.
CLIVE
Baby, what is it?
LESLEY
I don’t know if it’s possible that you haven’t realised... maybe it is, I mean we've not been... intimate yet so...
CLIVE
Hey, I'm not going to rush you into anything... when you're ready and the time is right... and don't worry...
CLIVE TOUCHES LESLEY’S HAND ACROSS THE TABLE. LESLEY’S HAND IS HAIRY AND TATTOOED.
CLIVE
...I'll be gentle.
LESLEY LOOKS CONFUSED
LESLEY
You see, it's when you say things like that it really makes me wonder if you're aware of my... situation.
CLIVE
(SIGHS) Relax. You have to understand that it doesn't matter to me, I love you just the same...
LESLEY LOOKS RELIEVED.
LESLEY
Oh, Clive.
CLIVE
...virgin or not – it makes no difference to me.
LESLEY
Virgin?
CLIVE PICKS UP A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP. HE STRUGGLES TO OPEN IT.
CLIVE
Listen, we've all got pasts. You’re a beautiful woman - you’re bound to have had admirers.
CLIVE HANDS LESLEY THE BOTTLE. LESLEY OPENS IT WITH EASE. HE HANDS IT BACK TO CLIVE.
CLIVE
What's important is we look to the future... our future... you, me... maybe couple of little ones running about the place.
LESLEY
Clive! I AM NOT A WO -
AS LESLEY SHOUTS "WOMAN" CLIVE DELIBERATELY SHOUTS OVER HIM.
CLIVE
WOO HOO! Waiter! The service in here is terrible.
LESLEY
Did you hear what I said, Clive. I AM A MA-
AS LESLEY SHOUTS "MAN" CLIVE DELIBERATELY SHOUTS OVER HIM ONCE MORE.
CLIVE
MENU! Yes, let’s have a look at the menu. Good idea!
LESLEY
(EXASPERATED) Honestly, it’s as if you’re in complete denial about...
CLIVE PLACES HIS FINGER OVER LESLEY’S LIPS.
CLIVE
Hold that thought, baby. I'll be right back.
CLIVE BLOWS LESLEY A KISS AS HE LEAVES THE TABLE.
CUT TO –
INT. GENTS’ TOILETS - NIGHT
CLIVE APPROACHES A URINAL. HE IS SMILING AND HAPPY AS HE STARTS TO PEE.
A SECOND LATER LESLEY ENTERS THE TOILET. HE TAKES UP THE URINAL NEXT TO CLIVE, RAISES HIS SKIRT AND STARTS TO PEE ALSO.
CLIVE SMILES AT LESLEY. HIS GAZE SLOWLY SCANS DOWN LESLEY'S BODY.
CLIVE
Oh! New shoes?
END
