British Comedy Guide

Vigilance. Page 8

David, you vile child.

Quote: zooo @ July 2 2008, 11:02 PM BST

I refuse to die! If only not to upset poor wee Aaron.

Aw, yay, thank you! :$

Quote: Pete @ July 2 2008, 10:05 PM BST

i'm sure the Army would appreciate having all these twats to look after!

That's what used to happen. Criminals were given the option to go to jail or join the army. It seemed to work then. I wouldn't give them the choice though. Persistent yobbishness (is that a word?)equals minimum five years in the forces.

Find a better and more cost effective solution? Especially as the army are short on recruits.

Quote: roscoff @ July 2 2008, 9:40 PM BST

Teenage knife crime disappears over-night.

Americans would get a puzzled expression on their faces if someone mentioned teenage knife crime. It's not really an issue here, but it's a good example of how criminals will use whatever implements they can get their hands on when they're intent on committing a crime. Hell, in Africa they hack their neighbors to death with gardening tools.

Quote: roscoff @ July 3 2008, 12:11 AM BST

That's what used to happen. Criminals were given the option to go to jail or join the army. It seemed to work then.

A volunteer army is always better than one comprised of unwilling enlistees. But I wouldn't mind seeing young criminals picking up trash, building roads and toiling in the sun in order to benefit the members of society who behave in a civilized manner.

Not enough. You've got to get these kids away from their parents and their gangs or you've got no chance. If there's another way, fine. And don't mention jail. An ex-pupil of mine is in and out of there all the time. He loves it. What a deterrent!

Quote: roscoff @ July 3 2008, 12:29 AM BST

Not enough.

My intention was to bring back the good ol' chain gang. Tough prisons and tough work for the prisoners. I'd rather they busted their asses for the public good rather than sitting on their asses in a comfortable cell.

Have you heard of Joe Arpaio? He's a Phoenix sheriff who most law-abiding citizens would call America's best Sheriff while most inmates would call him the worst. Some of his innovations: making inmates wear pink underwear, forcing them to live in tents in the Arizona desert heat ("If it's good enough for our troops in Iraq...") and serving them green bologna.

Wikipedia has a nice roundup of his unique approach to the treatment of prisoners:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Arpaio

Is that all Africans kill people with garden tools?

It's jsut there's a black guy works at my local B&Q should I call the police?

Quote: sootyj @ July 3 2008, 8:39 AM BST

Is that all Africans kill people with garden tools?

It's jsut there's a black guy works at my local B&Q should I call the police?

:O

Better safe than sorry.

Aaron I'm confused, are you a cat?

Miaow.

As a black cat, do you have access to gardening tools?

As a black cat, do you have a great sense of rhythm but are terrible at swimming?

Alas, no.

Welcome to the animal avatar world. You'll find it liberating in a number of ways, but the fact that you don't need to wear clothes (though a hat is always stylish) is easily the biggest plus point.

I always liked Donald Duck's outfit. But it never suited me.

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