Naughty

A MAN IS SEEING HIS DR.

MAN

So about these problems I've been having.

DR

Yes Mr Jones we've found out what the problem is.

MAN

Is it Shingle? My cousin had that.

DR

No Mr Jones you're evil.

MAN

I beg your pardon.

DR

Yes you've got the evil gene. Stalin, Hitler, Thatcher all had it.

MAN

But I'm a nice person,. I collect stamps, I'm a school care taker, I'd never hurt any one.

DR

Thats psychopathy, very different kettle of fish. Yours is the kind; where your iron will, and fearful charisma allow you to command legions of followers to kill at your whim.

MAN

Well I did say to my cat Mr Whiskers, can you catch that naughty mouse.

DR

And?

MAN

Well Mr Whiskers, and I think about 40 other cats filled my garden. WIth the corpses of 3,000 mice, 2,000 squirrels, a pit bull, 2 toddlers, and a midget. Oh my I am evil, is there a cure?

DR

No but there is a solution.

MAN

What like Bennylin?

DR

No a final solution. Command me oh dark master, I've sorted all my records in to gays, Jews, Blacks, and probable communists. Who should we cleanse first?

This line threw me:

"Yes you've got the evil gene. Stalin, Hitler, Thatcher all had it."

Felt like a dig at Thatcher for no obvious reason....other than you don't like her. Would have been funnier to put in someone where your feelings weren't obvious and the humour was higher ( Stalin, Hitler, Dr Evil...obviously) ?

Well it's the rule of 3, it's a very old comedy writing trope, lists of 2 where the 3rd one is unexpected usually get laughs.

That said Thatcher is an odd choice, I'll change it to Gandhi.

Thanks.

i get the 3 rule....i just think there are too many people that dislike Thatcher so much that she isn't a contrast to the others.

Me, I love her. My home work diary in 1987 was a filofax

That's why it's gone to Gandhi. As a social worker, she wasn't all bad.

Hahaha. Very good. I love the line:

Well Mr Whiskers, and I think about 40 other cats filled my garden. WIth the corpses of 3,000 mice, 2,000 squirrels, a pit bull, 2 toddlers, and a midget. Oh my I am evil, is there a cure?

which caught me by surprise (I'd take out the words 'I think').

As for the rule of three, I think it needs to be someone surprising but also someone who people will think it amusing if they have the evil gene. Ghandi doesn't work for me.

How about, "Yes you've got the evil gene. Hitler, Thatcher, Timmy Mallett, they all had it."

Mallett is better, as he is both evil, and pathetic.

Like a slug armed with a sachet of salt.