British Comedy Guide

WAR!

GRAMS: NEWS THEME TUNE

NEWSREADER:
Good evening. We interrupt this programme to bring you news that hostilities have broken out in the South East Internet. Tensions have been building recently between social networking websites Myspace and Facebook with each side accusing the other of encroaching upon their territory. (BEAT) Facebook troops fired the first shots, killing 7 Myspace accounts and 2 unregistered visitors after Myspace saboteurs posted the comment "L.O.L. U iz a big spazz innit" on the Facebook foreign minister’s Superwall. (BEAT) Ambassadors for both sides promptly removed each other from their instant messenger contact lists and declared war. (BEAT) Our reporter Dan Slab is on a Wikipedia page just 2 miles from the fiercest fighting.

ATMOS: SOUNDS OF WAR IN BACKGROUND

DAN:
(D) Scenes of utter chaos this evening as Myspace and Facebook forces battle it out across their internet border. At least three whole categories of Facebook friends have been wiped out and their heavy artillery are launching wave after wave of sarcastic emails at the Myspace position. I've also been hearing unconfirmed rumours that a dirty bomb has been detonated on Lily Allen's Myspace page. (BEAT) It all looks set to get much worse but, at this moment in time, it’s too early to tell just how bad things will get. Back to you in the studio.

End Atmos

NEWSREADER:
Thank you Dan. (BEAT) Refugees from this war have started trickling into aid camps set up in Second Life. (BEAT) More on this story later but for now, back to the programme.

(D) Distorted to sound like the report is being phoned in.

Great. No big laughs, but a knowing grin throughout. Nice to see Dan Slab back.

Very nice indeed. I was a little surprised that neither side resorted to chemical warefare by means of viruses, (I thought that might work well) but other than that no suggestions to make at all.

Good stuff. Very funny. How about Ask Jeeves being beheaded?

Hahaha. Not a bad idea at all.

Graham - I fully intend to work Dan Slab up into a proper character one of these days.

My advice do him as 3 quickies, and see if Treason Show'll take him as a runner character.

I jsut got a donner from my local kebab shop, it's made from proper meat. And it looks like a whole grated sheep in a kingsive blanket,
and it cost less than £4.

Just thought I'd share.

n.b. I love the way this skit combines two styles of language so well.

This is a good idea. I especially liked the refugee camp on Second Life bit at the end. Sofa_Matt's idea of chemical warfare by viruses would make it complete I think.

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