Clarkson

Edit: Second sketch:

EXT. DAY. CLARKSON IS WALKING ALONG, TALKING TO THE CAMERA.

CLARKSON: The speed of this has to be seen to be believed, it is truly magnificent. It is the latest masterpiece to come out of Japan.

Clarkson gets on a child's Fisher Price plastic 'Trike' and begins to pedal furiously.

CLARKSON (out of breath): You can really see...the acceleration of these vehicles...when you really push it hard. The cornering is particularly excellent too.

Clarkson stops pedalling

CLARKSON: The yellow and red plastic exterior really gives it a 'playful, but serious' feel. It doesn't take petrol, and at only £19.99 from your nearest Early Learning Centre, this really is a steal.

First:

There is absolutely no point to this, read it and do your worst people!

EXT. DAY. JEREMY CLARKSON STANDING AT A ROADSIDE, GETTING READY TO FILM A PIECE.

MAN (off screen): And...action!

CLARKSON: Speed!

Cut to video of speeding car

CLARKSON: Handling!

Cut to different video of a speeding car

CLARKSON: Thrust!

Cut to yet another video of a speeding car

CLARKSON (looking embarrassed): Er... sorry could we do that again? I just came in my pants. Is that alright? Can we-

CUT TO. EXT. DAY. CLARKSON AGAIN STANDING AT ROADSIDE.

MAN (off screen): Action!

CLARKSON: Power!

Cut to video of speeding car

CLARKSON: Acceleration!

Cut to another video of speeding car

CLARKSON (again looking embarrassed): Sorry...I just came in my pants again. Can we...can we do that one again?

CUT TO: EXT. DAY. CLARKSON STANDING AT ROADSIDE AGAIN.

CLARKSON: So it’s all sorted for this one, yeah?

MAN (off screen): We’re good to go, yeah. And...action!

CLARKSON: Power!

Cut to video of David Cameron cycling

CLARKSON: Handling!

Cut to video of Boris Johnson turning a corner on his bicycle

CLARKSON: Determination!

Cut to video of Margaret Thatcher getting out of a car

CLARKSON (again, embarrassed): It’s happened again... sorry.

END.

The first one was good but wouldn't have done the Tory joke myself, the second one seemed a bit anti-climactic to me.

I do love Top Gear!

Quote: Stuart Laws @ July 1 2008, 11:19 PM BST

The first one was good but wouldn't have done the Tory joke myself, the second one seemed a bit anti-climactic to me.

I do love Top Gear!

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Thanks, yeah I don't know what I was doing with the second one really. I love Top Gear too, I don't know a thing about cars yet I still have to watch it every week.

Both those are pretty good, but I prefered the 2nd. It reminded me of the bit when they hypnotised Hammond into believing a peddle car was his real car. You could maybe add something wrt to that into the 2nd one, however the problem might be it becomes a joke that only TG fans will fully get.

I rather liked the 2nd skit, it's quite fun, and theres something nicely arch about the Thatcher reference.

I liked the second one better, by which I probably mean the first, as you seem to have edited things to make the first last and the last first. But to clarify - Clarkson liking a kid's toy = ok throwaway. Clarkson in rule-of-three cumming escalation = good, in my book.

Yeah, the second is the better of the two sketches. Probably needs a better ending -- it's a bit predictable, but I suppose that's what people like. I reckon a more unexpected twist at the end would stand it in good stead.

Could work well on Headcases, especially as they do Clarkson already.

Dan