British Comedy Guide

Before computers ... Part 2

Acting on Afinkawan's suggestion . . .

1. INT. Bare office. Three GEEKS including KEN sit at a desk.

In front of them are three DWARFS, dressed in identical clothes to the GEEKS and wearing wigs to make them look like tiny versions of the GEEKS.

One DWARF is in a corner of the room, dressed to look like a primary school home corner, the other two DWARFS are sitting at a 1960s-style mini-bar.

CAP: Balham, 1963.

KEN
Take the cake out of the oven.

DWARF in home corner takes pretend cake out of oven.

FX. Old-fashioned phone rings.

KEN looks surprised. Picks up phone.

KEN
IT. (beat) I'm on my way.

CUT TO:

2. INT. Office. MAN in shirt and tie, but no jacket, is talking to KEN.

KEN
So what's the problem?

MAN
I can't get at my files.

Camera pulls back to reveal filing cabinet.

KEN pulls drawer. It won't budge.

KEN
Yeah, it's locked up,

MAN
Well, can you get at the files.

KEN
Nah, once these things lock up, the files are stuck in there. Didn't you back 'em up?

MAN
(shame-faced) No.

KEN
(shrugs) Well...

MAN
Well, can't we get a new key?

KEN
Not with this model.

MAN
Well, can't we just force the drawer open?

KEN
Ha. I suppose you want me to burn this whole building down do you? That's the trouble with filing cabinets. Very volatile form of data storage.

MAN
So all the files are lost, then?

KEN
Fraid so. Sorry.

CUT TO:

3. INT. IT office again. Same situation. GEEKS and DWARFS.

KEN (to GEEK)
This Second Life's great, isn't it?

END.

Heh. I don't think the Second Life reference is strong enough though. I think you want to stick to more retro stuff like Space Invaders.

How about them sending a live frog across a Scalextric track?

Second Life? Meh. I wanted Pete and Simon Stratton to know I was down with the kids.

Frogger? I had thought of putting Ken in a pair of flippers and bouncing across a main road, but I think your idea might be more workable.

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