Not me Marc. I'm sitting here eating my Twiglet soup.
The joke's on you..
Sitcom - appraisal welcome Page 5
Mate - this is hard to read and there's no discernible story. You need to establish the story in the first few pages or the audience will lose interest before you've even begun.
And there's too many c**ts about, even for BSG. 
Quote: Sebastian Orange-News @ July 4 2008, 11:49 AM BSTF**k off i am not Dave. And if you have to use exlcmation marks you clearly lack any wit to come up with any humour of your own?
Tit.
You kiss your mother with that mouth? I'm betting you do. Passionately.
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Not me Marc. I'm sitting here eating my Twiglet soup.
The joke's on you..
Wrong again because I am part french
Damn, I always fall for that one.
Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?
ok, I'm liking how 'the joke's on you' (TJOY) is catching on. i was kind of crossing fingers for that reaction.
perry - yes, i accept that it does appear a little disjointed at the moment. part of the reason for that is that i am holding back on one or two bits from the script. again, not being big headed - but i think thats understandable.
i reckon the c**ts are okay though. i think they serve enough of a comedic purpose. although, your feedback is welcome, as a senior poster on here. keep it coming!
David you'll never get a light comedy made with that much rudeness in it. You jsut won't,and whose gonna put out an 23.00 sitcom?
The Fukcing Goodlife, Birds of a c**ting feather?,
And swearing in it's self isn't it funny.
What are these great comedic bits you're holding back? A quaver sandwich, a toilet that sings Love Stinks when you pee in it?
David you're either a wind up artist, or in dire need of an editor.
Erm, I don't think we're using 'the joke's on you' (or TJOY if you prefer), in the way you'd like.
And the swearing is way over the top. As several people have mentioned before, there needs to be some cleverness with it. Just saying c--t isn't going to make me laugh. Compare it with the Alan Partridge line, 'Smell my cheese, you mother.' Now that made me laugh.
Its kind of hard ot judge this as a sitcom as posting different scenes makes it hard to get a sense of the storyline etc. I don't think you need to worry too much about people plagiarising it.
rob & soot - okay, i hear your voice, and its appreciated. but the swearing is a kind of zany, no hold barred free association thing. in the readings i've held, it has gone down well. a lot does rely on the actor who plays Muldoon though, granted.
rob, honestly i'm not being arrogant about the plagiarism tip. i was warned about it after a meeting i had a month or so ago. apparently, it's not just me that would have to deal with the ramifications of any legal issue.
how do people feel about incorporating TJOY into the script? maybe on a Muldoon jumper or something?
Sigh... name me one zany comedy program that relied on swearing, and was funny.
Or are you a trail blazer of rudeness?
the free association swearing only appears in one or two lines per scene - it hardly relies upon it.
no, i dont claim to be a pioneer by any means. although, i have been told that my voice is 'seriously fresh'. so there!
have any of you guys done rehearsed readings? the reason i ask is that i've got another one coming up and would appreciate some tips. the last one went okay, but i reckon it could have gone better on the whole.
Yes, and what makes a group in a room laugh, isn't what will always sell a show.
davidmoreton, please use capitals in thread topics. Please also remember full capitalisation, grammar, and spellings in individual posts. Thread edited. Thank you.
Hello David and welcome to BSG,
I quite like the scenes you have put up, they seem lighthearted and reasonably fun. You have also reacted well to a couple of numptys, congrats.
I don't think the swearing would go down well myself, less is more as they say, especially with the BBC.
I'm unsure about the legalitity of the Cowell thing and using him seems a bit mainstream, if it was some one a bit more incongrous(sp) it might work better perhaps?
The Melanie character hasn't given us anything yet except that she is reasonably assertive, it is hard to define her though.
The snacks, is a nice character detail but as someone said there needs to be more to a major character - even Joey from Friends had more to him than sandwiches.
And finally plot, there is no sense of journey in the scenes you have put up except perhaps that of a love triangle, more careful plotting is required perhaps?
All the best. 
Who accused this thing of being a 'joke machine'? Hands up!