Priest speeding sketch

A policeman pulls over a priest for doing almost double the speed limit. The police man approaches the car and say to the priest "I sorry Father I’m going to have to give you a ticket". And the priest responds "I sorry officer but I have a very good excuse, my housekeeper is after having a serious accident and she will have to stay in hospital for a number of weeks, It’s a very serious situation you cant imagine how worried I am". Tears start rolling down the priests face. The policeman responds "I feel awful father but I’m afraid that doesn’t explain your reckless disregard for the speed limit". The priest then says "I really miss her officer and who am I going to have sex with now I explode if I don’t have intercourse daily. The reason I was rushing was to get to the brothel. I think that constitutes an emergency don’t you".

Erm it's a standup joke, and a bit "old school"

restructure, get some dialogue in there and it could work really well.

Hmm. The punchline is stretched out over four sentences (or would be if punctuated properly). Any impact is hopelessly dissipated. (Much like the priest.)

If you are going to post it for critique as a sketch it should be in something resembling sketch format.

That’s fair enough is the first sketch I ever wrote I wasn’t expecting to set the world alight. It’s good to get some feedback.

I appreciate the comment about the need for more dialogue I shall rethink this.

I totally new to writing comedy where can I find out the difference between a joke and a sketch?

I wasn’t really going for a snappy punch line at the end just more of a general twist.

On second thoughts maybe it would work better if I could condense those last 3 sentences into one snappier punchline?

Are you English? If you aren't you'll struggle until you have mastered the language. If you are....READ your work before submitting it.

I assumed this line ""I sorry Father I’m going to have to give you a ticket". implied some degree of mental health issues for the cop.

Pots and kettles Pete.

GROUP LAUGHS AT TOM.

TOM
Funny. Except she’d dead.

A guy walks into a chandlers shop and asks the assisstant to cut him some slack.

I thought maybe they were supposed to be Italian or something.

yes I'm italian im amazed you guessed it I think i will get someone to proff read my submissions

Quote: Marc P @ June 28 2008, 2:00 PM BST

Pots and kettles Pete.

GROUP LAUGHS AT TOM.

TOM
Funny. Except she’d dead.

A guy walks into a chandlers shop and asks the assisstant to cut him some slack.

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Proving my point in so many ways.

What was your point Pete?