Not wanting risk a libel case I've removed actual names from this Wimbledon sketch. Feel free to add your own. 
Here are the latest scores from Wimbledon. [Male tennis player] has hit it off with [Female tennis player] while [Male tennis player] clearly wants to sow his number one seed in [Female tennis player]. Roger Federer is in love with himself. The quarter-final ties in the ladies doubles have ended with a lesbo gangbang in the locker room. Our reporters are monitoring the situation through a crack in the door.
