16.5

VO

What does Gordon Brown do for 16 and a half hours a day?

GORDON ON THE PHONE

Please come back Tony I'm sorry
Please come back Tony I'm sorry

REPEAT TILL LABOUR ELECTORAL DEFEAT.

I imagine that this took more time for me to read and critique than it did for you to concieve and write. I give it 16.5 out of 100.

Ouch, it actually took about 10 minutes. I was looking for a dead simple thing, on what does GBrown find to do in his fmaous 16.5 hour days.

I thought he spent most of his days in the Post Office Lost Property Dept or on trains looking for some lost paperwork.

That took 10 secs, and I prefer it to your Tony B reference.

Well ok I'll make the intro clearer,

"What does GB do in his famous 16 and a half working days,"

And there's work in this skit, you doubters.

It's a reduction from a much longer runner skit, I was looking for a simple semi visual punch.

The intro may have been flawed, but I think the main body works. Maybe I'm wrong.

n.b. did you like any of the others, I quite liked the dull version of The Hoodies.

Quote: Griff @ June 25 2008, 5:04 PM BST

There's work in making a Pot Noodle.

There's more work in making stir fry with noodles from fresh ingredients.

I prefer it when you serve us up the latter, which you are perfectly capable of.

But this is a Pot Noodle, made with cold water to save time.

View original

Harsh but fair, harsh but fair.

Quote: Griff @ June 25 2008, 5:23 PM BST

The intro may have been flawed, but I think the main body works. Maybe I'm wrong.

n.b. did you like any of the others, I quite liked the dull version of The Hoodies

Two points:

1 - I don't really know what the etiquette is for this, as I never post in Critique. But every time your sketches get criticised, you naysay the criticism by saying "Well I think it works" or something similar. Saying "I think it works" essentially implies "...so I don't care about your feedback". I'm sure that's not what you mean, so don't make those kinds of rebuttals.

2 - I don't know if I like any of the others, because I haven't got time or inclination to read them, because you constantly post low-quality items like this one up, which puts me off reading your stuff. If you posted fewer items of higher quality, more of us would have the time and the inclination to read them. But personally I don't want to be reading 10 items like this every day, which clearly haven't had much thought or effort put into them.

3 - Yes, I liked the Hoodies when I read it a while back.

View original

Thats a bit unfair IMO. Just because you might not agree with the feedback doesn't mean that you 'dont care about the feedback'.

I do agree that sometimes I think that Joel should read his work before posting it to critique, but if he doesn't mind the the constant slating he gets, I dont think he needs to worry.

In fairness though Joel, difficult then to ask everyone for their opinion on such a volume of submissions. If you get some feedback then be grateful. And those that us that give feedback need to understand that although we think that we are dispensing pearls of wisdom, the writer might not feel the same way.

Blimey I should join ACAS or somethin'

Keep posting Joel, I've got plenty of free time to kill reading your work, but I do sometimes wonder how the quality can vary by such a degree.

I like to improve, and to learn you need to fail a bit from time to time.

So I write stuff that I'm not good at, or find hard. Then garner the feedback, to learn for what ever to do next time.

I have to say I must be the only person, who thanks negative critics.

Some times I'm interested in how people's feedback, would be different if they knew where I was coming from. So I offer an explanation, of why I wrote some thing, it's not meant to be dismissive.

Thanks for feedback Sofa.

I intensely dislike critique that slips from the work, to the professional. But that seems par for the course in this forum c'est la vie.

No I was thinking more of snidy remarks from others in other forums, though I do find references to time spent writing, bordering on the personal.

It's actually the weaker ones it takes me longer to write.

And yes that includes the ones that look slap dash.

Well this one was boiled down from a bigger one, that took about half an hour.

But never moved beyond note taking. It was based on a variety of ways he could spend 16.5 hours; holding Prescotts hair whilst he puked, playing hide and seek with Darling. All seemed a little forced.

So I thought, why not go with the simple visual bang bang skit (harder than it looks).

I mean the best remembered skit on SPitting Image, must be
"What about the vegetables,"
"They'll have the same,"

I suppose with writing, I don't focus well. But the defocused skits, are almost always the winners. The crafted ones being clever enough to find their own way to the script writers bin.

Reflective Policing is a fine example for me, of a carefully written skit that went no where.

Where as a quick one about the Queen and Phil shagging, made it to both shows.

Did you jsut confess to contemplating plagarism!

I suppose I want to be able to write eveything, which may be a tad optimistic.

To be honest I think my one stand out skit, for today is Crisp.

And one can overwrite, and over edit.

Todays bumper crop, is more to do with doing very, very dreary training on communication systems.

Thanks to my awful handwriting no one guessed I was jotting down skit ideas, arf arf!

Wasn't Proust the bloke who wrote a book about a cake?

Methinks he had too much time on his hands.

Not I, it's why I write so fast.

Or the bloke who wrote the Remo books, he's my hero.