Water cooler talk

1. INT. AN OFFICE, BY THE WATER COOLER.

TWO EMPLOYEES, COLIN AND STACEY ARE TALKING.

STACEY

Did you see it last night?

COLIN

Wasn't it brilliant?

STACEY

When she lifted up her top...?

COLIN

Laugh? I almost wet myself!

2. INT. THE SAME OFFICE, BY THE PHOTOCOPIER.

COLIN IS WATCHING ANOTHER EMPLOYEE, BARRY, LOAD THE PHOTOCOPIER. STACEY JOINS THEM.

STACEY

Hiya Barry. Did you see last night? The bit where she lifted her top...

BARRY

I don't watch that rubbish.

COLIN

Yes, it's utter shite.

STACEY

But you just said...

COLIN

eh?

STACEY

Over there...

COLIN

Oh, that was water cooler talk!

STACEY

Sorry?

BARRY

Water cooler for enthusing about pop culture, the photocopier for a good moan.

STACEY

Oh, I see. But what if I just want a bit of a gossip?

A FOURTH EMPLOYEE, ROS, JOINS THEM

ROS

The tea point.

BARRY

But if you want to bitch take it to the ladies.

STACEY

Oh hang on!

ROS

No, he's right.

STACEY

What about the gents?

COLIN

Football.

BARRY

Not just football, sport in general.

COLIN

But mostly football.

STACEY

And what if I want to talk about serious stuff, current affairs, say?

ROS

Try the lifts.

BARRY

Or, the stairs, if you're claustrophobic.

THEY ARE JOINED BY ANOTHER COLLEAGUE, WHO FROM THEIR HANGDOG BODY LANGUAGE IS OBVIOUSLY THEIR BOSS.

BOSS

I have been observing the four of you, and you have been engaging in idle chit-chat, in contravention of company policy on minimising unproductive employee interaction through designated zones for different types of conversation.

COLIN, BARRY AND ROS HANG THEIR HEADS.

STACEY

It does seem rather a stupid policy.

BOSS (PATS THE PHOTOCOPIER)

That's much better. Carry on.

ENDS.

minor point but zeitgeist is a terrible word only used by people trying FAR to hard (I know Gervais trawls it out when talking about the office...and even then its borderline that he sounds like a twat!) Certainly no one has EVER said it stood within 100 years of a chilled water dispenser!

I wasn't too happy with zeitgeist, not because it is pretentious, which I don't think matters in context, but because I am not sure the word puts over what I am trying to get across, which is the import of that ghastly phrase about people talking about things round the water-cooler the next day. Alternative suggestions welcome.

To be honest I have doubts about the whole sketch, but I liked the idea and then was not sure where to run with it.

I enjoyed this one.

I'd just say "Big Brother and The Apprentice" instead of "the zeitgeist" and change "the show" in the first line to just "it."

"It" is definitely better.

I am trying "pop culture" instead of "zeitgeist".

I didn't read the original post, but it looks pretty good in the edit. It might read a bit better if you cut a couple of lines or combined them. I'd probably get rid of Ros too as she seems to serve no function and the fewer people you have, the more likely it is that someone will be able to use your sketch.

Thanks. Yes, I could probably trim a line or two without spoiling the pacing, and you are right that the I could lose a character. (I had originally intended it as a four-hander, then the Boss surprised me by putting in an appearance.)