Excuses

I think John Cleese would make a brilliant teacher in this so read it with him in mind.

INT. A CLASSROOM - DAY

Just the usual classroom setup. Teacher is stood at the front, and desks are all around him. The pupils file in and sit down.

TEACHER
Now if you haven't done your homework put your hand up

A few pupils put their hands up.

TEACHER
Jenkins, why haven't you done it?

JENKINS
Dog ate it sir

TEACHER
I'm sure. Morris, what about you?

MORRIS
I was at the psychiatrists sir

TEACHER
Really? Why was that then?

MORRIS
Apparently I'm a kleptomaniac sir

TEACHER
Oh really? What about you Peters?

PETERS
Hospital sir. Lost a leg sir

TEACHER
But you just walked in here fine

PETERS
Prosthetics sir

TEACHER
A likely story. What's your excuse Horroway?

HORROWAY
Jesus visited me sir

TEACHER
This is outrageous, and not one proper excuse between you

Suddenly Morris gets up and runs off out of the room with a prosthetic leg. Peters gives chase but is hopping after him.

TEACHER
Get back here now you two!

HORROWAY
Sir, can I go to the medical room?

TEACHER
Why?

HORROWAY
My hands are bleeding sir

Horroway holds up his hands and there are circles of blood on each palm.

TEACHER
Go

Horroway leaves. Jenkins gets up and begins to walk out of the room.

TEACHER
Where do you think you're going Jenkins?

JENKINS
Need to take my dog to the vets sir

It's old school, but I like it.

I thought you missed a trick though. After...

MORRIS
Apparently I'm a kleptomaniac sir

why doesn't the next guy say that Morris nicked his homework?

Barbs is right with the kleptomaniac line, that was exactly where In thought you were going when I read it On the whole not a bad sketch although I thought the ending was a little weak.