Dinner Time

INT. A SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT FAMILY ARE SITTING ROUND A DINING TABLE. THE MOTHER (KATE), WHO IS VERY OVERWEIGHT, IS HANDING PLATES OUT. THERE IS A FATHER, A TEENAGE BOY, A TWELVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, AND AN 8 YEAR OLD BOY PRESENT.

FATHER: What have we got for dinner tonight, Kate?

8 YEAR OLD: Can we have fish fingers?

KATE: Sorry honey, but remember Cancer? What Grandma died of? Well fish could give you that in the future, so that’s off the menu I’m afraid.

DAUGHTER: Spaghetti?

KATE: Well spaghetti is a leading cause of tuberculosis in the under 12s, so not tonight.

TEENAGE BOY: Shepherd’s pie?

KATE: Gives you genital herpes.

FATHER: Toad in the hole?

KATE: Toad in my hole, for all the good it’ll do you.

8 YEAR OLD: (getting upset) Lasagne?

KATE: Kills baby kittens.

DAUGHTER: Baked potatoes?

KATE: Do you want your hair to fall out and your skin to be covered in acne?

FATHER: Look, enough of this, come on what are we having?

Kate picks up a brown fast food bag from under the table

KATE: McDonalds!

Liked the general idea of the joke, but thought the build up was a bit too long and towards the end just too far-fetched.

Not a bad idea, but my take would be more along the lines of making it a devious advert by McDonalds.

Quote: KevDP4L @ June 17 2008, 5:58 PM BST

Liked the general idea of the joke, but thought the build up was a bit too long and towards the end just too far-fetched.

View original

It was supposed to get stupidly far-fetched, the idea was that the mum is a bit of a fatty who likes McDonalds and is using all the health risks associated with other foods as an excuse to have Maccy D's most nights. Thanks for the feedback though.

Quote: sootyj @ June 17 2008, 6:00 PM BST

Not a bad idea, but my take would be more along the lines of making it a devious advert by McDonalds.

View original

Yeah I quite like the sound of that. I suppose the mother could turn towards the camera and smile when she says "McDonalds", and a slogan could come up at the bottom "Escape from Cancer - Go McDonalds". Or something wittier that I can't think of at the moment.

"Gives you genital herpes" and "Kills baby kittens" are both terrific. But the toad in the hole gag is frankly rubbish and out of place, and the baked potatoes one either needs to come before gential herpes or, more likely, be cut entirely.

Not sure about the punchline. Could work, depending on how it is delivered.

Quote: NickTheDon @ June 17 2008, 6:07 PM BST

the idea was that the mum is a bit of a fatty who likes McDonalds and is using all the health risks associated with other foods as an excuse to have Maccy D's most nights. Thanks for the feedback though.

View original

I wondered about that, or about Kate being too lazy cook,but it probably does not come across strongly enough in the sketch. You are kind of relying on the actor to provide the subtext to the whole sketch at the same time as delivering the punchline. Which is two words long. It is quite a big ask.

Quote: NickTheDon @ June 17 2008, 6:05 PM BST

It was supposed to get stupidly far-fetched, the idea was that the mum is a bit of a fatty who likes McDonalds and is using all the health risks associated with other foods as an excuse to have Maccy D's most nights. Thanks for the feedback though.

View original

Oh right, I didn't get that. Maybe it's just me being slow, though tbh I don't think I'd be the only one wouldn't.

You can maybe use the McDonald's ad campaign at the end to explain it. Something like "All good mum's always choose McDonalds" or something that isn't as bad as my suggestion

All good points, I agree it definitely needs touching up. Cheers.