First date

INT. LIVING ROOM

TWO GUYS ARE SITTING WATCHING TV TALKING TO EACH OTHER.

PAUL
Honestly though, it was the worst first date I've ever been on.

JOHN
I can top that. I was out on a date the other week and my ex-girlfriend showed up.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT

JOHN ENTERS THE RESAURANT WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND (KIM). THEY GO OVER TO THEIR TABLE TO FIND A WOMAN (LAURA) ALREADY SITTING AT IT.

LAURA
Hi John. Er... Who's this?

JOHN
Oh this is Kim. Kim, meet Laura, my ex-girlfriend.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM

PAUL
So you mean Laura turned up and tried to ruin your date? What a bitch.

JOHN
Yea. In fairness though, I probably should have let her know she was dumped before bringing Kim instead.

Nice twist. Welcome to the BSG.

Good stuff, but you could probably lose the middle bit, and keep it in one sitting, otherwise it's good.

I'd be inclined to lose the first bit. Start in the restaurant, then cut to him with a black eye and arm in a sling or something, telling his mate about it.

Missing out the middle bit would work too though.

Lose the middle bit to make it a radio gag, lose the first bit to make it a TV gag, I reckon.

Detailed advice there. Top site this.