This is a running sketch, just interested what people think:
ONE
INT. LIVING ROOM. A MIDDLE AGED MAN (DAD) IS SITTING ON THE SOFA READING A NEWSPAPER, AND DRINKING A CUP OF TEA. HIS TEENAGE SON (AGED 18/19) RUNS IN.
TEEN: Dad! Dad! I’ve got some fantastic news!
DAD: What is it son?
TEEN: Well you know how you said I should get a new hobby, as a way of bettering myself and meeting new likeminded people? Well, I’ve got one!
DAD: Wow that is great news! So what’s this new hobby then?
THE TEEN GETS A CRICKET BAT OUT OF HIS BAG
DAD: Ah wonderful! Cricket. Yes, I used to play myself back in the day. Old Suttonians Cricket Club. (in posh voice, imitating a cricket commentator) Opening batsman, left arm round the wicket, silly mid off and the batsman’s out leg before wicket! (in normal voice) Ahh... A true gentleman’s game.
TEEN: No dad... I joined the Seal Clubbing Society.
TEEN PUTS A SEAL TEDDY BEAR ON THE SOFA, THEN REPEATEDLY BASHES IT WITH THE CRICKET BAT. CLOSE UP ON THE CRUSHED FACE OF THE SEAL.
TEEN: Really gets rid of my anger.
TWO
INT. LIVING ROOM. A MIDDLE AGED MAN (DAD) IS SITTING ON THE SOFA READING A NEWSPAPER, AND DRINKING A CUP OF TEA. HIS TEENAGE SON RUNS IN.
TEEN: Dad! Dad! I’ve got some fantastic news!
DAD: What is it son?
TEEN: I’ve met this amazing girl!
DAD: Wow…this is good news! What’s her name?
TEEN: SexyChick69.
DAD: (stunned) What?
TEEN: Well, she hasn’t told me her real name yet. Says she’ll only reveal it when she feels she knows me better.
DAD: (unimpressed) Right... of course.
TEEN: But on the plus side, she did send me a photo of her tits.
THREE
INT. LIVING ROOM. A MIDDLE AGED MAN (DAD) IS SITTING ON THE SOFA READING A NEWSPAPER, AND DRINKING A CUP OF TEA. HIS TEENAGE SON RUNS IN.
TEEN: Dad! Dad! I’ve got some fantastic news!
DAD: (sarcastically) Oh do share.
TEEN: (putting on condescending voice) Are you paying too much for your car insurance?
FOUR
INT. LIVING ROOM. A MIDDLE AGED MAN (DAD) IS SITTING ON THE SOFA READING A NEWSPAPER, AND DRINKING A CUP OF TEA. HIS TEENAGE SON RUNS IN.
TEEN: Dad! Dad! I’ve got some fantastic news!
DAD: (wearily) Dear God…
TEEN: I met a Nigerian Oil Baron in exile on the internet who wants to deposit 5 million dollars in my bank account! I can get that new guitar now!
DAD: (sighs) Don’t tell your mother.
FIVE
INT. LIVING ROOM. A MIDDLE AGED MAN (DAD) IS SITTING ON THE SOFA READING A NEWSPAPER, AND DRINKING A CUP OF TEA. HIS TEENAGE SON RUNS IN.
TEEN: Dad! Dad! I’ve got some fantastic news!
TEEN LOOKS AROUND THE LIVING ROOM. IT IS EMPTY.
CUT TO:
INT. GARDEN SHED. THE FATHER IS SITTING IN A COMFY CHAIR, FLICKING THROUGH A NEWSPAPER, WITH A SMALL PORTABLE TV ON IN THE BACKGROUND.
FATHER TAKES SIP FROM A CUP OF TEA.
DAD: Ahh.
END.
