Have you got any....... (SKETCH)

Just come up with this, What do you think?

MAN (CHRIS) IS IN SHOP, GOES OVER TO COUNTER.

Howard
Hello, how can I help you sir?

Chris
(GETS LIST OUT OF POCKET) Erm..... can I have some sarcasm please?

Howard
Sarcasm?

Chris
You know, sarcasm. A little bit of smart-assing.

Howard
I'm sorry, I don't understand, this is a corner shop. We have bread, milk, sugar and other corner shop items. We don't sell sarcasm.

Chris
Are you sure?

Howard
Am I sure? No, I'm only the guy who buys all the stock but yet according to you,(WAVES ARMS MADLY IN THE AIR) I do not know what I sell!

Chris
(SMILES) Thought you never sold sarcasm? How much was that?

Howard
You wan't to buy that?

Chris
Yes.

Howard
Bloody hell, your a nutter, a real nutcase, absolutley, positively mad!

Chris
Hmmmm?(LOOKS AT LIST) Not to keen on your insults. Got any better ones?

Howard
What? You wan't to buy insults? Just get out my shop, you silly c*nt!

Chris
(SMILES) That's more like it (HANDS OVER MONEY) keep the change. (WALKS OUT OF SHOP)

(CAMERA SHOWS HOWARD WITH CONFUSED FACE)

It's good, Paul, but it's a bit close to an old Monty Python sketch for comfort.

I'd steer away from dead parrots and Spam for the same reason.

A nice idea but Kenny Everett and Cliff Richard already did a brilliant sarcasm sketch on his Thames show back in the 70's.

Yes, a bit too similar to the Monty Python Argument sketch. Also this sort of odd shopping is overdone by student revue groups I think. I can't remember who took the piss out of the tendency but it was something along the lines of a man going into a shop and saying, "I'd like to buy some whimsy please".

Nice but too close to argument sketch.