JAMES BOND IS TALKING TO JAQUI SMITH
JAMES
I'm here for my equipment. Blofeld's planning to use his sonic cannon to give the whole US the shits. Hang on where's Q ?
JAQUI
He was behind the times. I'm Jaqui Smith home secretary, and we in New Labour know what 00 Agents need to fight evil.
JAMES
An invisible Aston Martin?
JAQUI
No a spare sock.
BOND
A sock?
JAQUI
So if you get upto fight evil, you won't be delayed looking for your second sock.
BOND
Do I at least get a Desert Eagle, with poisoned teflon bullets, and a laser sight?
JAQUI
Nope you get a dog poo on a stick. Far scarier than a silly gun.
BOND
Look you mad bitch. I don't want any of this rubbish, you didn't even ask me.
JAQUI
Well tough. MI5 didn't want 42 days detention but they got it, I don't see why you OO should be any different.
BOND
Thunder Balls, we've got Dr No chance against Bin Laden now.