Sketch Ideas Needed

I'm trying to finish a radio sketch show based on the theme of death but i need some ideas for the last 4 sketches. Anything would be good e.g. suggesting a scenario without a joke would be helpful, one word responses would also help. I've done 19 which are

Euthanasia, Death (the guy with the scyth), suicide bombers, american president, reading a will, PMQs, pets, last rites, war, assasination, zombies, rappers, poisoning russian spy, car crash, revolution, medical diagnosis, Rat Race, famine, bomb disposal,

Sketches are linked by narration so as long as it can be refered to in the narration anything can be a sketch, they don't have to necessarily involve death.

A killer discussing methods of body disposal.

Don't forget me when the royalties come in!

Quote: ajp29 @ February 7, 2007, 8:51 AM

the theme of death

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Have you tried thinking along the lines of "death" refering to the death of a period, an ideaology, hopes and dreams etc, etc, etc. Example:- A vain man dealing with the death of his hair folicles (picture a vain bloke, a bit of a player, in with a specialist who tells him the folicles are dead), the death of Rock 'n' Roll (an ageing Rock Band aren't dealing to well with their fading fame, venues reducing in size etc.) Hell, why not combine the two! Could you imagine the reaction of an ageing heavy metaller after being told he's developing a bald patch?

You may find that thinking along these lines will open new ideas for you.

Fingers crossed.

-Kyle

Perhaps you can adapt this 'SUICIDE BOMBER' sketch.

SUICIDE BOMBER
BY MARTIN BAUM

A PALESTINIAN LEADER IS TALKING TO ONE OF HIS SUICIDE BOMBERS.

LEADER:Now then Mohammed, remind me what it is we do?

MOHAMMEDEMPHATICALLY) To die for a free Palestine State and it is our sworn Palestinian duty to become martyrs and die for the cause by becoming suicide bombers.

LEADER: (Pause) And exactly how many missions have you been on?

MOHAMMEDProudly) 12 sir.

LEADER:That’s right, 12 failed suicide missions. (LOOKING AT HIS CLIPBOARD) Forgot to record farewell video message, mislaid bus timetable at home. Got held up at traffic lights and of course, my persoannal favourite, proceeded to Tel Aviv High Street and successfully went shopping. (FIRMLY) Are you stupid?

MOHAMMED:No, no, think I’ve got the hang it now.

MOHAMMED OPENS HIS COAT WHICH IS STRAPPED TIGHT WITH EXPLOSIVES. HE HOLDS OUT GENADE.

MOHAMMMED: And I know if I pull the pin like this....

MOHAMMED CONFIDENTLY PULLS THE PIN AND THE GRENADE GOES OFF.

END

Friendly fire

This reminded me of that guy in the Hitch Hikers guide to the galaxy who spent a year dead for tax reasons.

Heaven and Hell, Famous Last words. How about an episode of family fortunes with the question being preferred methods of killing someone.

Perhaps you can adapt this 'SUICIDE BOMBER' sketch.

SUICIDE BOMBER
BY MARTIN BAUM

A PALESTINIAN LEADER IS TALKING TO ONE OF HIS SUICIDE BOMBERS.

LEADER:Now then Mohammed, remind me what it is we do?

MOHAMMEDEMPHATICALLY) To die for a free Palestine State and it is our sworn Palestinian duty to become martyrs and die for the cause by becoming suicide bombers.

LEADER: (Pause) And exactly how many missions have you been on?

MOHAMMEDProudly) 12 sir.

LEADER:That’s right, 12 failed suicide missions. (LOOKING AT HIS CLIPBOARD) Forgot to record farewell video message, mislaid bus timetable at home. Got held up at traffic lights and of course, my persoannal favourite, proceeded to Tel Aviv High Street and successfully went shopping. (FIRMLY) Are you stupid?

MOHAMMED:No, no, think I’ve got the hang it now.

MOHAMMED OPENS HIS COAT WHICH IS STRAPPED TIGHT WITH EXPLOSIVES. HE HOLDS OUT GENADE.

MOHAMMMED: And I know if I pull the pin like this....

MOHAMMED CONFIDENTLY PULLS THE PIN AND THE GRENADE GOES OFF.

END

spontanious combustion?
Infection?
Bird Flu?

Other than that i don't know.

Wow what a reponse. Up untill now all i could do was type death into Wikipedia, i wouldn't recommend it. All these ideas are good, i'm trying to avoid topical stuff plus also its for Radio 4 audience so it can't be as extreme as I would want it. You have definitely provided inspiration. I'll post the sketches on the critique forum when i've written them. More suggestions are welcome.

I liked the sketch Baumski but unfortunately i already have one on a similar theme.

Your take on the theme Bilko is really good as i haven't thought of it in that way, lots of possibilities are coming to mind.

Thanks to everyone else they are really good suggestions.