Street Theatre - Sitcom Script Part 3

This is the the final part of my sitcom script 'Street Theatre', for those who haven't read the first two parts you can find part 1 here https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/696 and part 2 here https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/726

ENJOY!

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SCENE 6

INT. PEDRO's CAFE – DAY
STEVEN AND JASON IN THEIR BUSKING ATTIRE ARE SAT HAVING LUNCH IN PEDRO'S CAFE

JASON
So, you thought any more about the Loretta situation?

STEVEN
Yeah..my plan is to just never see her again

JASON
Are you serious?

STEVEN
Yeah, I think it's best if I just avoid her from now on..then I don't have to eat her curry or pretend that my Mother's dead

RORY WALKS INTO THE CAFE AND COMES OVER TO STEVEN AND JASON

RORY
Hey lads, how ya doing?

JASON
Not too bad Rory, Steve's just having a bit of women trouble

RORY
What?..You've started bleeding from your genitalia?

STEVEN
No 'WOMEN' trouble, not 'WOMENS' troubles

RORY
Oh sorry about that, so what's the problem..you like her but she doesn't like you?

STEVEN
Oh no, she likes me and I definitely like her..I just don't like her cooking

RORY
Her cooking?

JASON
Yeah and his Mother's dead

RORY
Your Mother's dead!

STEVEN
Well..not literally

RORY
Well she's either dead or she isn't

STEVEN
She isn't, she definitely isn't

JASON
His girlfriend thinks that she is though

RORY
Well why on earth would she think that?

STEVEN
Look it's a long story Rory

JASON
Story Rory (laughs)

HARRIETTE THEN COMES INTO THE CAFE AND TAKES A SEAT NEXT TO STEVEN AND JASON

HARRIETTE
I found the theif!

JASON
The beret theif?

HARRIETTE
The beret theif

RORY
The beret theif?

HARRIETTE
Yeah, it's a long story Rory

RORY
Oh it always is isn't it, I'll see you guys later

STEVEN
See you later Rory

JASON
See ya

STEVEN
So who was it?

HARRIETTE
Well it's the strangest thing..we actually have a lot in common, we get along like a house on fire

JASON
Oh yeah a 'house on fire'..I've never really understood that phrase, when a house is on fire there's not much 'getting along'..there's a lot of 'getting out'

HARRIETTE
Well anyway..I'm guessing my beret must have blown off my patch because when they found it it was on the street and they asked around but nobody claimed it, so they kept it

STEVEN
So how did you find the person then?

HARRIETTE
I saw them wearing it and I chased them and we started arguing at first but then we just started laughing and laughing..and people started staring and we carried on laughing and then we went for a coffee..but enough about me, how did your date go?

STEVEN
I don't really want to talk about it

JASON
In brief, she made him eat curry and he pretended he liked it and then to get out of eating it he pretended that his Mother had died and now he's avoiding her

HARRIETTE
Oh Steve..you've really sunk to a new low..you know you've got to tell her

JASON
That's what I said

STEVEN
You really think so?

HARRIETTE
Yeah

STEVEN
I mean I have to break up with her regardless..I can't carrying on going out with her knowing that she knows that I made up those ridiculous lies

HARRIETTE
No you don't have to break up with her, just tell her the truth..she might find it charming

STEVEN
Charming!?

HARRIETTE
Well okay not 'charming'..but she might think its quite a 'wacky' thing that a street performer would do..she might laugh

STEVEN
You know you're right..she might like it, she might laugh..I'm going round to her house right now and I'm gonna spill the beans..

HARRIETTE
Or the curry

STEVEN
Spill the curry!

HARRIETTE
Tell her everything

STEVEN
Everything! I'm gonna come clean

JASON
You haven't committed a murder Steve, no need to be so serious

STEVEN
Well I said that my Mother was dead that's just as bad as committing murder in my eyes

SCENE 7

EXT. COVENT GARDEN AREA – DAY
JASON IS PERFORMING AND STEVEN COMES WALKING OVER

JASON
Hey you're back..how did it go, did she take the news well?

STEVEN
Erm..well..

JASON
You did tell her everything didn't you?

STEVEN
Not exactly

JASON
What do you mean not exactly, you either did or you didn't

STEVEN
I broke up with her

JASON
Go on..

STEVEN
I told her that I wasn't ready for committing right now, you know since my Mother just died..I told her that I'm going to stay with my Father for a few days to console him

JASON
Why are you adding to the excuse!?

STEVEN
Well I thought seen as it was already out there I might as well expand on it

JASON
Never expand on a excuse

STEVEN
Well it doesn't matter now anyway..it's all over

JASON
What if she see's you though, you're not really going to your Dad's are you?

STEVEN
No of course not, I'll just lay low for a few days at the flat and then after that if I bump into her it will just be a 'Oh hello, how are you?' and then after a while that will turn into a 'Hi' and then into a 'Nod of recognition' and then soon as you know it we'll be invisible to each other

PASSER-BY
Do some tricks then!

JASON
I'm a juggler, a juggler..not a magician

SCENE 8

INT. STEVEN'S FLAT – DAY
STEVEN AND JASON ARE SAT ON THE SOFA WATCHING TV, JASON IS EATING CURRY

TELEVISION NOISE
“The operation is a seriously nerving time for the patient and her family..”

JASON
You know the more you watch of these plastic surgery programmes, the more addictive they become

HARRIETTE KNOCKS ON THE FRONT DOOR AND COMES IN, LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN BEHIND HER

HARRIETTE
Hey boys

JASON
Hey Harriette, just watching some..err plastic surgery

STEVEN
You just gonna leave the door open like that, what was you born on a farm?

HARRIETTE
For a matter of fact yes I was and funnily enough farms don't have doors (laughs)

STEVEN
Ha ha very funny

HARRIETTE
No, the beret thief is coming up, she's just making a phonecall

STEVEN
It's a she, I thought it was a he

HARRIETE
Uh-Uh

THE BERET THEIF ENTERS THE FLAT AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE LORETTA, SHE IS WEARING THE BERET

STEVEN
Loretta!

LORETTA
Steven?

HARRIETTE
You two know each....ohhh

LORETTA
I thought you was visiting your Father this weekend

STEVEN
Oh well I was you see but err..he decided that..err..ahh forget it my Mother isn't dead

LORETTA
What?

STEVEN
She isn't dead, I just said that so I could leave and I didn't have to eat your curry

LORETTA
What was wrong with my curry?

STEVEN
Too spicy..too spicy

LORETTA
You said you liked it

STEVEN
I didn't want to hurt your feelings

LORETTA
So you said your Mother died..you're sick..SICK!

STEVEN
(Points to Jason) He said it first

LORETTA
(To Harriette) How come you didn't tell me you knew him?

HARRIETTE
I didn't realise you was dating him

LORETTA
You know what..you can all go to hell!

LORETTA STORMS OUT AND SLAMS THE DOOR

HARRIETTE
Wait, you're still wearing my beret..ah..oh

JASON
(Holds up his tray of curry) Anyone feel like some curry

Don't sleep on me please

Sorry but I'm going to have to bump this again, I want at least one reply lol.

Hi Martin

On the whole I enjoyed it. You can obviously write some funny lines and get together a story with a resolution. I think you may need to work on the characterization a little more, maybe making the one-liners more relevant to your characters' attitudes. (For instance, we find that Jason has quite an addictive personality from the plastic surgery show on TV, but you could use that for a line from Steven so we see his view, even if it's him being completely oblivious to the TV as he's mourning the loss of Loretta)

Rory needs to be some sort of street artist in all his get up. Would be funny if he was a one-man band and you could hear him coming from a mile away, drums and cymbals bashing and having the line:

JASON: Oh no, here comes Rory...

As it would be interesting if Rory were Steven's mate but there was animosity/conflict between Jason and Rory (maybe an old girlfriend who was a juggler or used to fight over the same patch outside a public toilet).

I like the 'story Rory' gags and think these could be running gags ('gory Rory', 'glory Rory', 'poorly Rory')

All this said, I can't see the point of Rory appearing. He doesn't bring the story on anything, doesn't let them know anything they need to know to resolve the plot. There's no reason for him to appear at all, as far as I can see. (He could be the person who saw the beret thief or something)

I like the 'nod of recognition' paragraph. Very funny.

The exacerbating situation is very good sitcom; where he lies bigger and better to get out of it. That is very well done.

The two plotlines coming together at the end is very good and well done.

One thing I've noticed is that I don't think the whole thing is long enough for a sitcom. I've read all three bits and felt as though it was about 15-20 minutes long. You need to read it out loud to yourself (or with friends) at the pace it should be when performed and time it to see how long it is. (Believe me, you need to do this. I did it earlier this week and found an episode I'd wrote was about 8 minutes too short, so some serious re-writing has taken place!)

Rough estimate should be about 5,500-6,500 words for a half-hour sitcom episode.

Hope all this helps

Dan

Thanks buddy, yeah it is short, cos I need to add another scene to do with the Harriette beret thief plot line but just haven't worked a way to get it in yet.

Rory is a street performer, he's a very stereotypical bagpipe player lol. I agree has no real purpose in this episode other than to introduce his character.

But yeah I will try and get it longer.