INT. BATHROOM. CAMERA IS LOOKING OUT OF BATHROOM CABINET MIRROR. SHOT NEVER VARIES THROUGHOUT SKETCH.
A MIDDLE-AGED MAN IS SHAVING AT THE SINK, WEARING JUST A TOWEL, SINGING FOUNDATIONS BY KATE NASH.
HE HEARS A MUFFLED VOICE.
VOICE 1 (O.O.V):
My mum and dad used to run a B&B, and Neil Armstrong stayed there once.
MAN IS TAKEN ABACK. HE LOOKS AROUND FOR THE SOURCE OF THE VOICE. THERE'S NOTHING THERE. HE SHRUGS AND CARRIES ON SHAVING.
THEN HE HEARS A SECOND MUFFLED VOICE.
VOICE 2 (O.O.V):
I'm a quarter Cherokee Indian.
MAN LOOKS AROUND AGAIN. HE OPENS BATHROOM DOOR.
MAN:
(THROUGH DOOR) You just say something?
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.O.V):
No.
MAN GOES BACK TO SINK AND STARTS TO SHAVE AND SING AGAIN.
THE MUFFLED VOICES RETURN.
VOICE 1 (O.O.V.):
Strictly speaking, Mount Snowdon isn't really a mountain, it's a hill.
VOICE 2 (O.O.V.):
Whales can live for four days in the desert.
MAN IS SHAKEN NOW. HE CHECKS THE RADIO. HE SWITCHES IT ON AND OFF AGAIN. NOW HE'S WORRIED.
HE GOES BACK TO SINK.
VOICE 1 (O.O.V.):
Pope John Paul the First, you know, the one who was only Pope for a month, was really . . .
WHILE THE VOICE IS SPEAKING, IT SUDDENLY DAWNS ON MAN. HE OPENS THE TOWEL (OUT OF VIEW, OBVIOUSLY) AND LOOKS DOWN.
VOICE 1 (O.O.V., CONTINUING BUT NO LONGER MUFFLED):
. . . a woman. That's why they had to kill her.
VOICE 2 (O.O.V, ALSO NO LONGER MUFFLED):
My cousin's in Waterloo Road.
VOICE 1 (O.O.V):
There's no such thing as cheese.
MAN:
Ah, shut up, the pair of you. You're just talking bollocks.
