British Comedy Guide

FROM THE FUTURE

Today's sketch...

INT - TRAVELING ON A BUS

MM- Mystery Man
MAN- ...a man
(Before you say anything, this will be changed to MAN1 and MAN2)

(MM sits next to MAN on the bus)

MM:

Some men say make-up is for women but I like it, don’t you?

MAN:

Sorry, do I know you?

MM:

My name is James and I’m from the future. Do you like my eyes?

MAN:

What?


MM:

What is your name?

MAN:

Michael.

MM:

Excellent. Now listen to me Michael, what I am about to say is very important. I have been sent from the future to warn you that if you do not stop your greedy ways, you will meet your end.

MAN:

Pardon?Are you taking the p-

MM:

This is not to be taken lightly Michael. If you do not give up your possessions they will cost you your life.

MAN:

And what exactly am I supposed to do.

MM:

Give me everything you own.


MAN:

No!


MM

Alright, your wallet then.


MAN

Leave me alone.


MM:

I’m only trying to help you Michael.

MAN:

You just want my money!

MM:

Please Michael, if you don’t you will surely die


MAN:

I’m not going to die!

MM:

Don’t tempt the fates Michael.

MAN:

Don’t tempt the fates? Don’t tempt me you psycho, unless you want bounced up and down this bus.


(MAN gets up to leave, without realizing MM has strapped a comically large bomb to his back that is counting down.)

MM:

Wanker.

It's very good, but I'd give it a more prosaic punchline, e.g. he stabs him. And opines on him ignoring his warning.

Hmmm I will fanny about with it.

Stabbing isn't intrinsically funny, so I am not sure I would go with that idea...

The problem with this is that it does read as though the guy is demanding money with menaces, so the pay off doesn't really work.

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