Toff

THERE'S A TOFF STAGGERING ABOUT THE STAGE, THE TERMINATOR WALKS ON

TERMINATOR

I have been sent from the future, to ensure Toffs rule the earth for ever. I am the Toffinator, give me your tophat, and posh accent.

TOFF

What the bloody hell for?

TERMINATOR

So I can hunt down the one person who can stop Toffs ruling the earth forever.

TOFF

Whose that? You don't mean the Labour they're a useless shower of idiots.

TERMINATOR

Nick Clegg?

TOFF BURSTS OUT LAUGHING

TOFF

He's too busy humping Cameron's leg to be a threat to anyone.

TERMINATOR

My mission is pointless.

TOFF

Fraid so fancy coming to the Bullingdon to take some hard drugs, heroin, coke,

TERMINATOR

I'll do crack.

Toff

THERE'S A TOFF STAGGERING ABOUT THE STAGE, THE TERMINATOR WALKS ON

TERMINATOR

I have been sent from the future, to ensure Toffs rule the earth for ever. I am the Toffinator, give me your tophat, and posh accent. Old chap

TOFF

What the bloody hell for?

TERMINATOR

So I can hunt down the one person who can stop Toffs ruling the earth forever. Old chap

TOFF

Whose that? You don't mean the Labour they're a useless shower of idiots.

TERMINATOR

Nick Clegg?

TOFF BURSTS OUT LAUGHING

TOFF

He's too busy humping Cameron's leg to be a threat to anyone.

TERMINATOR

My mission is pointless. Old chap, might as well join the Monday Club, and hunt foxes. Old chap.

TOFF

Fraid so fancy coming to the Bullingdon to take some hard drugs, heroin, coke,

TERMINATOR

I'll do crack.

I like the idea but think it needs rewriting. Felt like it should be *less* political if anything.

If you're going to use the 'My mission is pointless' line (which is good), I'd make it ever-so-slightly longer in length so that this has more impact.

Dan

Thanks Dan, have modified Treason Show version.