A psychic oops.

Ok, I wrote this sketch about a month ago and in all honesty I really don't know what to make of it myself... whether it's funny or not, this is one that would have to be acted quite well by the person playing the psychic in my opinion.

SCENE. INT. SUPERMARKET. DAY.

A blind man (Tom) and his psychic friend are out shopping. Tom prefers the psychic to the seeing dogs. The psychic is dressed like a gypsy; he always has an emotionless look on his face.

Tom goes to pick up a pint of milk.

TOM:
Ok we need a pint of milk, what about this one?

Psychic without looking.

PSYCHIC:
That’s out of date, pick the third one along.

Tom feels along three and puts the milk in his trolley.

CUTS TO: Tom and the psychic at the checkout, before all the scanning is done the psychic without looking up from a magazine he is reading tells him how much he needs.

PSYCHIC:
That’s going to cost £23.41.

The psychic is correct as they leave the shop Tom notices something.

TOM:
This floor feels a bit slippery.

Psychic without looking up.

PSYCHIC:
No, it’s fine just keep walking.

Tom keeps walking then all of a sudden slips in the most painful fashion.

Tom screams in pain, the psychic, still reading his magazine unphased.

PSYCHIC:
Ok, I’m now sensing a wet floor. Should have looked at the wet floor sign really… (exhaling) well live and learn.

END.

Tell me what you think.

I liked it lol could imagine that crazy sketch in my sitcom lol...don't worry I won't steal it

Only crit is the I'd trim the end line

PSYCHIC:
Ok, I’m now sensing a wet floor now...

might just be me though. Really enjoyed it keep it up

Originally it was that line but I thought it was a bit flat so I added that bit on the end... strange that.... you can use it in your sitcom, but if it gets commissioned, you better give me a cut!

no problem if I get comissioned you got a job as a writer. I'm in process of getting a pilot made so maybe sooner then later

I like it Paul - made me laugh (which isn't difficult but still take it as a compliment). Personally, I would have cut it as per Gav's suggestion as that's the point that made me chuckle - I don't think it needed the added bit - but again, just my humblest of opinions. Nice one.

I think you could have a lot more fun with a psychic friend in the incidents before he falls. It just seemed to be building up the set-up for a long time.

Why did he get it wrong all of a sudden?

it was a build up and I guess he got it wrong because errr he became over confident?

Although it wasn't a huge laugh out loud sketch, I nevertheless genuinely found it absurdly funny.

Suggestion for build-up:
-----------------------

TOM:
I might buy some condoms.

PSYCHIC:
Save your money, you wont be needing those.

TOM:
Ohhhh!

Paul I liked it, you could have him reacting to something in the magazine

TOM:
This floor feels a bit slippery.

Psychic looking at magazine

PSYCHIC:
No way

Tom slips on floor

PYSCHIC:
Tom Cruise is gay, didn't predict that

(I am of course referring to Tom Gerrad Cruise the writer and not the popular film satr)

Of course, and after reading Shoepie's suggestion, this sketch does lend itself to a nice running gag.

Seriously here: hahahahahahahahahahaha I loved both suggested I laughed at both, there is definite range that can be done with this guy, I just fished this sketch out from my heap in the draw and posted it... good thing really, don't like to be a copy cat but I wouldn't mind using something like martins or ajps suggestions if that’s ok?