Apprentice Idea

INT - AMSTRAD BOARDROOM - DAY

SIR ALAN SUGAR IS SEATED BEHIND HIS BOARDROOM TABLE FLANKED BY HIS TWO ASSOCIATES. ACCROSS THE TABLE SIT THREE WOULD-BE APPRENTICES. TWO MALE AND ONE FEMALE.

SIR ALAN:
So Steve tell me why I shouldn't fire you?

STEVE:
Cos I'm a black belt in karate and I'll snap your neck in two with a single blow if you do you obnoxious git.

SIR ALAN:
Same question to you Penny.

PENNY:
Last week when you came to give me that special one-on-one tuition, you weren't to know it, but I had a secret camera filming all our goings on. And I mean everything.

SIR ALAN:
Wayne, tell me why you should stay on in this process?

WAYNE:
Sir Alan, I'm the best qualified of all the candidates. I'm a proven winner; this is my first time in the boardroom and I'll give you 100% in all I do for you. I have consistently done well task after task. Sir Alan, I am truly a winner.

SIR ALAN:
Is that it?

WAYNE:
Yes Sir Alan.

SIR ALAN:
Wayne you're fired! You others go back to the house.

ALL THREE LEAVE THE BOARDROOM ONLY SIR ALAN AND HIS ASSOCIATES REMAIN.

SIR ALAN:
I had to let Wayne go. It was a no brainer really. He had nothing on me or was in no way a threat to my well-being.

ASSOCIATES
Quite right Sir Alan. Absolutely Sir Alan.

END:

Hey Blenks

I can't get into this one because Sir Alan gives the impression of goody-goody-two-shoes all the time. I can't suspend my belief in that for the sketch. Might work better with Donald Trump (even though he doesn't do it anymore!)

Dan

It's a decent idea but it's also a bit obvious.

I think Sooty's right. There have been approximately 16,000 Apprentice sketches written on this board alone, so if you're going to write one, yours had better be the best. This one was pretty middling.

I am confused by this. The punchline is so obvious that it comes as a surprise. Was that the intention?

Yes it was Timbo sort of-ish

Not the old Mae West this one really - just churned out after having watched last night's show. There have been many of these as David says and I think this one may well be headed for my virtual bottom drawer.

Cheers for the comments folks

Bottom drawers? You're not going to shove up your arse are you?

No skits that bad

You could try a twist. Sir Alan sacks Steve (it would work better if he is a woman) who leaps across the table and karate kicks him in the face. Sir Alan's toadies pick him up and congratulate him on taking the principled decision. Sir Alan says something like, bollocks to that I've got 50K laid off on Wayne at 200 to 1. Now get that Penny back in here, I need a blowjob...